


A Million Dreams

by BohemianQueen21



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Break Up, Bromance, Depression, Echo bashing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Bellamy Blake/Echo, Past Relationship(s), Protective Bellamy Blake, Reunions, Season 5/6 change, Visions in dreams, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2020-12-17 15:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21056594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BohemianQueen21/pseuds/BohemianQueen21
Summary: What if there were second chances? Third chances? Fourth chances? Would you eventually be able to find peace?Unlikely, especially when you are stuck in the afterlife and your soulmate is not.Did Clarke Griffin really think that her life after death would be so easy?Forgotten friendships, forged families, heartbreak and long-awaited love.Clarke is in for a long, inescapable ride.





	1. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE: **

Clarke could sense the oncoming heat before it was even visible. The death wave, still miles away from her location, was producing enough heat even from that distance that Clarke was finding it hard to breathe.

In her current situation, this is proving to be a problem. It proved that the wave was coming in fast, much faster than she could outrun.

But still, she fought against the pain in her lungs as she tore through the woods, not following any path, just in the general direction of the lab. The voice in the back of her head pleading for her to run faster, to make it, to live.

It's the same voice that's always been there, begging her to stay alive in any situation that puts her in danger.

The voice of Bellamy Blake.

The real Bellamy probably already thinks her dead. Or close enough to it, there was no way for him to think any different. He was the one to close the door, the one who sat with his head in his hands as he left the Earth's atmosphere, leaving behind the one person who means just as much to him as his only sister. So, To him, Clarke Griffin was dead, and it was his fault.

Still, Clarke ran for him. stumbling through the greenery, accumulating cuts and bruises from tripping over and running into loose branches, not stopping for a moment to duck out of the way, or to wipe the blood tricking into her eye from a gash on her forehead.

"Just a bit farther- don't be weak... you can do this!" Clarke was yelling to herself, her voice coming out in raspy wheezes. It was becoming painful for her to breath now, causing her to stumble and fall more often than she liked.

The heat was stifling, the trees in front of her were swaying dangerously as if they were melting under the extreme temperature. If Clarke wasn't running so fast, she would see some of the leaves smoking to a crisp.

"Do it for Mom..." Clarke was crying now. Her footfalls becoming clumsy and slow.

Clarke wasn't sure what her mother would do if in five years she has to learn her only child has been dead. Sure, Clarke was aware that Marcus would be there for her mother, but the idea of causing that pain, the same pain she felt when she lost her father, to her mother, it was almost as unbearable as this heat.

Suddenly, a gust of boiling wind knocks into Clarke's back, sending her sprawling into the mud and rocks.

Turning in horror, Clarke looks up to see thousands of birds flying high in the sky, some of their feathers falling off behind them as they (like Clarke) frantically try to outfly the flames.

They are having better luck than she is.

The wind from before is back, and Clarke is forced to curl into a ball to try and protect her skin from the boiling heat. However, her hands are left open and vulnerable.

The pain is so severe that Clarke screams louder than ever before. She could feel blisters erupting on her skin and blood pouring down her arms, soaking into the fabric of her clothes.

The feeling was indescribable, and if it were someone weaker, they would've given in at that moment. Just lay there and allow the flames to take her.

But Clarke still had something to live for.

"Bellamy... please-" Clarke forces her hands to grasp the dirt beneath her, ignoring how the small stones and twigs tear at her ruined hands. Her eyes were almost blinded by her tears. She couldn't die now, she had to survive the five years. She had to see him again- to tell him-

A loud crack fills the air and for a moment, Clarke stops in fright, her train of thought lost as a sudden large weight crashes down on her back.

She couldn't turn to see, but it was clear by the smell and the rain of debris that rained down on her, that a large branch had given up and snapped from one of the wobbling trees.at

It was game over.

Sobs break their way out of Clarke's mouth, great, body wracking sobs that leave her chest throbbing with pain along with her hands and back.

It was clear at that moment, Clarke wasn't going to get out of this one, judging by the lack of pain in her legs, where there once had been. Something had broken, something that let her feel her legs.

"I'm sorry- Bell- Bellamy I'm so sorry!" Clarke wasn't sure if anything could hear her anymore, she was alone, but it didn't stop her from screaming apologies into the sky. Wishing somehow, although it may be impossible, that Bellamy would hear her and forgive her for giving up.

Clarke closed her eyes and hid her face in the dirt, not caring that mud was getting into her mouth. She lay there crying into the Earth, trying hard to imagine that the people she loved and lost were there with her now... sitting with her as she died.

Clarke thought of her father, holding her hand in both of his, of her mother soothingly pulling her hair into a braid, of Wells reading her a story of some long-forgotten land, of her friends Raven, Monty, Harper, and even Murphy, sitting by her feet, not saying anything but just being there for her in these last painful minutes.

The last person who comes to Clarke's head is Bellamy. He is sitting by her side, on the other side of her father, his hand on her cheek, whispering how it was all okay, that she could rest, his thumb brushing away her tears of pain and loneliness, promising her that he will be there while she falls asleep.

Promising her that things will be better, wherever she goes next, he will always be there for her.

Always love her.

Clarke was aware that it was all a stupid dream, but it stopped the sobs, even if the tears kept falling. It gave her one last piece of comfort as she lay here dying all on her own.

Bellamy loving her.

Her loving her.

It was the last thought that Clarke Griffin ever had.

As a mere 5 seconds, later a wall of flames takes over her body.

Ending her life in a matter of moments.

Miles into the sky, the heart of Bellamy Blake breaks even more.

He knew she was gone.


	2. Chapter Two

**CHAPTER TWO:**

Clarke jolts up with a scream building in her throat, prepared for the continuation of that brief moment of pain she felt as the death wave hit her.

Only, the only thing she could feel was the warm temperature of the evening sun on her skin, the cool feeling of grass in-between tingling fingers.

She opens her eyes only to snap them shut once more against the blinding light she was met with. She brings a hand up to rub her eyes slightly before using the same hand to shield herself against the sun as her eyes reopen.

She was faced with the most unfamiliar place. It looked like any meadow on Earth, but there was also something off about the place.

The Trees surrounded the edge of the forest were too full with thick, overly green leaves, all perfectly still despite the cool breeze. They all seemed too perfectly spaced out, to evenly grown to seem real. But Clarke could smell the slight scent of nature, which had her believing that, despite the clinical way everything seemed to have grown, this was, in fact, real.... but where was she?

Once Clarke's eyes adjust to the great light, she lets her hand fall to her lap. That's when she feels the silky material of her clothing. Snapping her head down, Clarke can see that she is no longer wearing what she was before. Instead of battle-worn clothes, she is wearing a pure white, stainless dress that reaches down to her knees. The boots Clark swore she was wearing a moment ago, were no longer there, in fact, she was wearing no shoes at all.

Wiggling her toes, Clarke could feel-

She could feel.

Reaching forward, Clarke runs her knuckles down her cold legs, testing the feeling she had once lost. A bubble of laughter erupts from her throat, taking away the scream that seemed to get stuck there moments ago.

She could feel her legs again! could she even ever not move them, or was the shock following the heavy pain on he back the branch gave her just enough to convince her that she was paralyzed.

Not believing her luck, Clarke also brings her hands closer to her face, expecting to see large open blisters brought on from the boiling hot wind, only to find them smooth and soft. No scars that she had once acclaimed in her time on Earth still lingered. It was like everything that had happened the past couple of months had been erased.

A sudden noise from Clarke's left drew her attention away from her hands.

Looking up, she could see two people close to the trees, holding hands and resting their foreheads together.

Clarke scrambled to her feet, desperate to see who these people were and if they could tell her why she was here.

After a couple of steps, Clarke felt a hand gently press onto her shoulder, startling her.

Spinning around, Clarke was met with the last person she ever thought she'd see. "Dad?"

He, too, was dressed in mostly white, apart from his denim trousers. He looked healthier than the last time Clarke had seen him. He had fewer grey hairs, the lines that decorated his face from the stress of the job had all but gone.

"Hello, sweetheart." He smiles at his daughter.

"What- how are you here?" Clarke asks, taking a step closer to her father, feeling familiar tears stinging behind her eyes.

"Clarke, this is where people go when they die..." Jake Griffin gestures to the meadow around them. "There is so much more here than you see now. Everyone you ever knew and lost end up here. An eternity of peace for as long as we wish it."

Clarke follows her Dad's hands as he gestures around them. The tears now freely flowing down her face.

Her father's words suddenly bring back the feelings of her death. Not the pain, no, that wasn't as bad as the crippling loneliness she felt as she realized that this was it. Also, the complete and utter crushing feeling of failing her mother, of failing Bell-

A wave of pain takes over her and suddenly she is falling to her knees. The sobs that she releases, grab the attention of the two people at the edge of the meadow.

Jake was quick to kneel and take his daughter into his arms, just like he would when she was just a girl.

"Dad, I failed them! I tried to fight- I had to fight for Mom and Bellamy... I failed them!" Clarke grips onto the soft fabric of her father's jumper.

Jake could feel his tears in his eyes. Never really having the chance to experience his daughter's adult life, to see her pulled away from it all so early, without the chance to fully experience what it could bring her. It broke his heart as much as it did when Wells Jaha first turned up all those months ago.

"Darling, you could never fail your mother. She will just be happy that you are somewhere better, somewhere safe and without the fear of violence." Clarke could feel her father stroking back her hair. "And as for this Bellamy... darling, I may not know who he is, but I know that you couldn't do anything to fail him, if he cared about you truly, there's nothing he wouldn't forgive you for."

Clarke pulled back to look at her father in the face. "Do you forgive Mom?" the words take Jake by surprise, but what's not surprising is his reply.

"Of course I do." Clarke blinks in shock. "Don't be so surprised my love." Jake touches his daughter's cheek. "Everything she did. From telling on me to Jaha, for letting Wells take the blame... it was all to keep you safe." He laughs. "And that was way more important to me than anything else. Your happiness means more to me than my own life."

Clarke shakes her head. "I wasn't happy Dad! they locked me up, on my own, for months!" She grips her father's hands. "They sent me to the ground, I had to take the responsibility for the deaths of so many- it was horrible Dad, how could I be happy-"

Jake cuts her off. "Clarke. Listen to me. Yes, there were a lot of bad things that happened to you down there. However, I am also guessing there was plenty to make you smile... how else did you meet this Bellamy fellow?"

That pulled Clarke up short.

He was right, Of course, there was more to Clarke's time on earth, than just the death and destruction. The people she met along the way. Bellamy, Raven, Monty and Jasper, Murphy, Miller.

Clarke's eyes meet her father again.

He knew he had won this.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Jake asks his daughter, getting to his feet and offering his hand to her.

Clarke looks down at her hands and legs again, as if she were afraid that leaving here would make her forget what led her here in the first place. The pain and suffering that led her to this moment of peace with her father.

In the end, she looked back up at her father and took his hand.


	3. Chapter Three

** CHAPTER THREE: **

As Clarke and her Father walked out of the meadow, it didn't escape Clarke's notice that the couple from before had vanished. Perhaps, she thought, they had left to give her and her father some privacy.

Shaking her head slightly, Clarke pushed the thought to the back of her mind for the moment.

"I have a room set up for you at home, I wasn't sure if you were going to need it when you arrived." Jake pulled Clarke's attention back to him. "I thought you wouldn't arrive here for a very long time and I wasn't sure who you would meet in your future, maybe they would be here before you and that they would be who you needed most to greet you." Jake sounded sad as if this was something he worried about often.

Clarke wondered how she would feel in his shoes. Living in this place, knowing there was no way to contact the people you loved, and to know you were missing out on all the events that have happened in their lives. It must be especially bad to leave behind a child. To know that they would meet their first love, find a home without you, create a family without you in it.

Clarke realizes that she is no longer referring to her father's feelings, but her own.

She held her father's hand a little tighter.

"What is this place like?" Clarke asked. She wanted to change the subject before she got lost in her mind. Wondering about all the things she would miss from her friend's life.

From Bellamy's life.

Her dad chuckled lightly, bringing Clarke back to the present. "It's amazing," Jake shakes his head as if he still couldn't believe this place. "It's nothing I could have imagined in my wildest dreams." he pauses for a moment. "There must be billions of people here, yet it never seems crowded."

Clarke looks up at him and squints. "How so?" she asks.

Jake shrugs. "The place is set out in a way that everyone is in their little places as if the people we have interacted with, or experienced in our lives are here... we have our little sector. You will never run into someone who lived a thousand years ago, even though they are also here, somewhere in their little bubble." Jake explained, but it still sounded confusing to Clarke.

"So," she starts, watching her dad's face. "what if my great grandmother lived in a time where I didn't experience her... but I wanted to meet her... is that possible?"

Jake laughed at the question. "Oh, yes. It's very possible. I think everyone new here has had the same thought." He pulls Clarke down a path as they make it to the trees surrounding the meadow. Immediately bringing them into the darkness of the woods. "I wanted to know what the earth was like before the bombs. You can visit anyone you like, but most of us like to stay in our little places."

Clarke was silent after that. Wondering herself if she would like to know what life was like. Before the bombs, before the creation of the sky people and the grounders. Was it more peaceful? Did humans get alone easier than what she, herself, had experienced?

She finds that not one part of her yearns for that information. Hanging onto the past never seemed like a high priority to her, not when the present was so important to her overall survival.

She did, however, have one wish.

The one thing she has yearned for since the day he had died. Without the chance for her to say goodbye after she had barely made up for how cruel she had treated him.

But that would have to wait.  
  
There seemed to more light breaking through the trees, leading Clarke to believe that she was about to witness the place her father just spoke of. She found herself holding her breath, as sudden anxiety built up inside her.

Jake seemed to sense his daughter's distress. "It's okay, sweetheart. I know it's a lot to take in at first." He pulls Clarke to a stop. "We can take this whole thing slowly. We just need to get you home first." He pointedly looks down at Clarke's bare feet. "Even though we have died, cold's are still common here... I think it's to remind us we are still human." Jake pulls Clarke to a stop, just at the edge of the trees.

Clarke takes this moment to take a deep breath and let go of her father's hand. After everything she has had to deal with, this should be something she does on her own.

As if sensing this, her father takes a step back. "You can do it darling."

Clarke turns from him, knowing that if she keeps him in her sight, she wouldn't be able to do this alone.

Closing her eyes, she thinks of the last important step she had taken into a new world.

In that world, she had a cocky stranger holding her back, much to her annoyance, so that the girl who only ever experienced one room her whole life, could get the chance to stretch her legs and experience the world.

How she wished that cocky stranger was here with her now.

Throughout her reminiscence, Clarke had taken the next couple of steps that led her out into a bright world, filled with sounds, smells, and sights that she had never experienced before in her life.

Opening her eyes, Clarke takes it all in.

Instead of finding trees in front of her, she finds buildings. Small houses, large towering structures, tiny cottages covered in a range of colorful flowers.

There were also, fields of rolling grounds, filled with people, strolling around, talking with friends and loved ones, children playing with balls and riding things Clarke had only ever seen in books, such as bikes. They were all dressed in light-colored clothing that radiated happiness, unlike the dark brown and black's that Clarke was used to seeing people wear on Earth.

Clarke could also see art everywhere. Some landscapes are drawn that she could recognize from her time. Someone had even drawn the mess hall on the Ark.

Feeling her father behind her. Clarke starts to walk. Her bare feet taking her forward. Towards a house that sits beside a few houses similar to it. From the outside, she could tell it was empty, but there was something about it, almost like it was just waiting for its owner to collect it.

She reaches out to touch the fencing around it.

"He was right." Jake comments from just behind her.

Clarke turns to her Dad, keeping her hand on the worn wooden fence as if letting it go would make it disappear. "Who was right?" She asks.

Jake just hums and walks up to the gate. "Another thing we have found out about this place is that it knows us." Jake motions to the house and the similar ones around it. "These houses and the little community that live in it, all belong to a group of people." Clarke looks at the house next to the one she was drawn too.

"Who are they?"

Several houses down, Clarke could see a blonde girl picking apples from a tree. The girl couldn't be older than thirteen. There was something about this that brought a small pain to Clarke's stomach.

"They keep to themselves," Jake tells her. "Not all of them live here. Some of them chose to stay with their families. But those who don't have anyone to go home to, stay here, living their lives until they find who they are looking for." He points to a house across from the one he and Clarke stand at. "The houses appear to them, draw them in and that's where they belong."

Clarke's head snaps back to her father. "I thought you said you made a room up for me where you live?" Jake smiles sadly.

"Yes. I did, but it appears that you have grown up. You don't need your father as much as you used-"

Clarke launches herself at her father. "That's not true!" Jake brings his arms up around her as Clarke buries her head in his neck.

"It is my darling. I will always be around. This would always happen. Even if we were alive you would have moved on, met someone and left to live your own life." He pushes Clarke away gently. "If that was the case, would you have never spoken to your mother or me again?"

Clarke pouts like a child. "Of course not." She mumbles, ignoring the smile on her father's face.

"Well, it's just the same here." He laughs gently. "You can come to see me any time, Clarke. You just have another life and people you love. That's okay, it's part of life and being a parent."

Jake steps back from his daughter and motions up at the house. To Clarke, it was a beautiful house. Something she would have loved to have back on Earth if life had permitted her peace.

It was made of soft grey stones and a light charcoal colored roof. There was a winding red plant that covered most of the side and a little of the front. The windows were large and inviting. Clarke could imagine herself sitting with the windows open, a pad of paper on her lap, and having all the time in the world to draw whatever she could think of.

A small wistful smile appears on her face.

"Go on sweetheart, we have all the time in the world now." Clarke looks back at her father as she reaches for the gate, leading to the small garden.

"I love you, Dad." She whispers, the stinging of tears back in her eyes. "I will not need you." Jake smiles back at her.

"I know." He reaches forward to push her gently. "Now. Go on, live your life... I don't imagine you'll get much peace before they come knocking at your door." Jake winks at his daughter then turns away.

"Who?" Clarke yells after her Dad, but he doesn't answer.

She could hear him whistling as he walked away.

Clarke watches him for a little longer. Not quite believing that this was all happening.

Once her father's figure started to become blurred, Clarke turns back to the house- her house.

It was something she could never have dreamed of as a child. Back on the Ark, it would be lucky if she got an apartment with two bedrooms. Maybe she could, considering who her parents were. But it would be nothing like what she is looking at now.

Pushing open the Gate, Clarke takes the few steps down the stone path that leads to the door. It seemed so surreal that this place belonged to her, that it was physically made for her.

She rests her hand on the doorknob, and as if by magic, the door swings open.

Clarke gasps in shock.


	4. Chapter Four

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Two things registered in Clarke's mind.

One: She was standing in what seemed to be the most beautiful place she had ever seen. Everything was decorated in warm colors. All the furniture was made of dark and light brown woods, that radiated warmth. Nothing like Clarke had been used to as she grew up. Everything was very open, with no natural light, cold metal surfaces, and overall a clinical feel. Everywhere Clarke looked, there was light. Streaming through the large windows, coming from a fire roaring in the fireplace, and what seemed like thousands of tiny little lights that streamed across the wall like stars. In a particularly well-lit corner of the room, Clarke could see a desk, covered in art supplies- some of which she had only ever seen in books and dreamed of using.

The second thing Clarke noticed, were the two people standing by the wood staircase.

One with a familiar mop of black hair and a cheeky smile, one that got her in trouble since the moment she first saw it. And the other, with those brown eyes that always sparkled when the light hit them.

Wells and Finn.

"Welcome home, Princess."

Clarke opens her mouth, the sound of that nickname, the one that once belonged to the spacewalker who first took side the moment they landed on the ground. The one who dragged Monty and Jasper into her life. The one she killed in cold blood.

A shiver goes through her, as she realizes that the word no longer belonged to him.

"I-" The word barely escapes Clarke before she feels her feet flying forward.

Finn and Wells automatically bring their arms up to catch her as all of Clarke's body weight crashes into them, dragging both boys into a hug,

"We missed you too," Wells says before turning his head and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Although, we did hope we wouldn't see you for a lot longer," Finn adds.

Clarke notices something about his voice. It seems different. Lighter even. She suddenly wonders if something has happened to him in the short amount of months he has been here.

Wells elbows Finn around Clarke's body. "Shut up, Collins," he hisses. "It's not the time for that, let her settle in first." Clarke shakes her head. A bubble of joy bursts inside her, there was something so comforting about Wells being there, sticking up for her and making sure she is happy and safe.

"Wells, I'm so sorry!" Clarke pulls back, focusing all her attention on her long lost best friend. "I'm sorry you were alone when you died, I'm sorry I didn't forgive you sooner- maybe if I had..."

Wells brings his hands up to frame Clarke's face. "Don't think that way." He forces Clarke to meet his eyes. "Yes. I wish I hadn't died so young and with so many things left unsaid... but despite what some people may think, death has been good for me."

Clarke gives a dry laugh. "How is that even possible?"

A sudden look crosses Well's face. It was something Clarke sometimes saw in other people. People who were in love.

"I would have never done well on the ground, Clarke," his voice comes out in a whisper. "Sure, it's everything I wanted my whole life, but the war and loss that came with it... I would go mad."

"We all lived through it. Even if many of us died, we all still had something we fought to live for!" A blush rose to Clarke's face as she remembered her reason to fight. What would the two boys in front of her think if she let that information slip? "You would have had someone, a purpose to fight."

The whole time Clarke spoke, Wells was shaking his head. "No.," he says softly, still not letting his eyes move from hers. "Not me. I'm happier here than I have ever been in my life. Here, I have a comfortable home. Friends. A life. Someone I love." A small smile appears on Clarke's face as her theory proves right.

"I knew it." She mumbles.

Wells laughs. "From what I hear, you had a couple of loved ones too." His eyes flick to Finn beside her. He looks like he is trying his hardest to look like he is not there. "I heard about this Lexa, too."

The sudden hard edge to Well's voice takes Clarke by surprise.

"What's with the tone?" Clarke snaps at him.

Well's never truly stated how he felt about same-sex relationships, so for him to sound this way, it wasn't hard for Clarke to feel slightly worried.

Finn tenses beside them.

Wells just shakes his head with a sad smile. "She's just not who deserves you." Clarke can't help but think his voice sounds cryptic. "Not because she's a woman, but... because this place, it allows you to see more clearly." Wells takes Clarke's hand and motions to the room on their right.

She allows herself to be gently pulled into the room and placed on the couch. Wells sits next to her, whilst Finn sits directly across from them, kicking his feet up onto the table.

Wells sighs, seemingly preparing himself for a rough conversation. "Look, Clarke. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to see Lexa again, I would too if I were you." Wells squeezes her hand. "I heard how she died, that must be tough on you. I just don't want you to be hurt again when you see that... well, Clarke, she's moved on."

Clarke's heart thudded in her chest.

She wanted to stop Wells, to let him know that Clarke's longing to see Lexa was purely just to see her. To Clarke, as long as Lexa was happy, she could live with that. If that meant that she had moved on, then all the better as Clarke had done the same thing.

Well's however, didn't give her the chance to talk.

"When we arrive in this world, we all have a person designed for us," he explains. "There have been many tales of something like it in all of Earth's history. The most common way to explain it is that we all have a soulmate." a soft smile grows across his face. A tight pain grows in her stomach suddenly. It felt as if she was missing something.

"They may be here already like my soulmate was... or Finn's." Clarke's head snaps towards Finn. He seems to be very interested in a specific spot on the floor.

Clarke makes a mental note to ask about it later.

"If they aren't here, I've heard that in those cases, the person who first arrives can feel a nagging feeling of forgetting." Wells looks her up and down.

A small exhale comes from Clarke's lips as she remembers the missing feeling from her stomach. Does that mean her soulmate isn't here?

_Of course, he isn't!_

A voice in Clarke's mind screams.

She ignores it, as there was no way to know if it truly was Bellamy.

Even if Bellamy turned out to be her soulmate here in this afterlife, it might not even matter.

Tears fill Clarke's eyes.

Bellamy still had his entire life to live. Clarke knew that it wouldn't take long before some special girl picked him up. She knew he was a traditional guy at heart, so she wouldn't at all be surprised if he arrived here with a wife and a couple of children.

"Clarke?" Wells shakes her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She meets his eyes for a second then flicks them over to Finn. They both look concerned.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just, whoever you heard that from, Wells. Turn's out it's true." An intense look of sympathy appears on both of their faces. It made her want to look away.

Finn breaks the short moment of silence. "Do you have any idea who it could be?" Wells shoots him a look that screams Shut up. "What? I'm just curious! It's not like either you or I knew who ours were, and one of them was in the hundred."

The more Well's and Finn speak about their apparent soulmate's the more curious Clarke becomes, but she has too many things she wants to say before she can even get around to asking them who they are. "I think so."

This makes Well's turn back from her, dropping his angry gaze at Finn. "You do? Who is it?"

Finn leans forward, now completely focused on her. "You might not like it." She warns, putting her hands up in front of her in a defensive manner.

"Clarke, we have already faced death. I think we can handle this." Well's laughs.

Clarke is a little more worried about Well's reaction. He died before she even became allies with Bellamy, let alone friends. At least Finn saw something, he saw more of our budding relationship before he died.

She could feel them getting impatient.

So with a deep breath, she meets Well's eyes and opens her mouth.

"Bellamy Blake."


	5. Chapter Five

** CHAPTER FIVE:  **

In the following hour that proceeded Clarke's confession, she spent the majority of it telling Wells and Finn the story of her falling headfirst for Bellamy.

At first, Wells didn't believe it. It was understandable. The brief time he had known Bellamy, he was the snarky asshole who only thought about himself and his sister. He didn't get the chance to see how he changed. He also only saw Clarke and Bellamy who fought tooth and nail about everything and anything.

Finn was silent for the most part. He couldn't understand what had changed so much. Sure, before he died, there was a considerable shift in their relationship, but not enough for him to believe that Clarke would fall for him.

They both turned deadly still when Clarke started talking about the day she died.

"I thought I would get to say goodbye to Mom..." Clarke shakes her head. A large lump had begun to grow in her throat at the thought of her mother. "She's not going to know that I've died. It'll be five years until she finds out." Wells reaches out to take hold of Clarke's hand. He felt for Abby, even though he wasn't sure he was her biggest fan anymore, he could sympathize with her. His father probably didn't know he had died until a significant amount of time after his death.

"Knowing Raven, she is probably up there now, putting together a way to contact the ground," Finn adds in after a tense silent moment.

Clarke and Wells could both hear the fondness in his voice. Clarke wondered what his feelings towards the girl was now that he was happy with someone.

There is a brief silence after Finn's words before Wells clears his throat, in prompt for Clarke to continue.

A faint blush spreads across the Blonde's cheeks. "It seems silly and childish to think... but I swear something had changed between us then." She brings an arm around her stomach, holding it tightly. "After he told me the connection was lost, that I couldn't speak to my mother... he hugged me, it was so different from any other time. I didn't want him to let go as if some part of me knew that I had so few moments with him left." Clarke could feel the tears falling down her cheeks again.

Wells and Finn didn't know what to do. They had no idea of how intense the history between the two former co-leaders of the hundred was. But they could sense that it was more than what Clarke was telling them.

"It's like a piece of me missing now... I'm not going to see him-" A sob escapes her lips. "I need him."

Suddenly the air in her home seemed too thin for Clarke. It was as if without Bellamy there with her, she didn't know how to exist. He had been so constant in her life now that not having him here was like removing one of her lungs.

She tears her hand out of Wells and stumbles to her feet.

"Clarke!" Both boys shout in surprise as they watch her sprint out the front door into the new world outside.

Clarke didn't care if they followed her or not. She just needed to breathe.

How is she supposed to live for at least another seventy years without Bellamy by her side? They were just beginning to truly feel- if Clarke had been in that ship with them, she had no doubt she would be returning five years later, so completely in love with him and him with her.

She doesn't know how she knows this, but she can feel in her soul that it is right. That they should be together.

Clarke feels stones pressing roughly against her still bare feet. Surely that shouldn't hurt in this world where she is already dead?

But she welcomes the pain, it distracts her from the pain in her heart.

Arms suddenly grabbed her from behind, pulling her against a body no smaller than her own, but she has no will in her to fight back.

"Clarke?" Someone is in front of her, but the lack of oxygen is making it hard for her to see. "What happened? How are you here?" The questions bring Clarke up short.

It can't be Finn or Wells, she already explained the story to them.

She feels a sharp tap to her cheek, shocking her eyes into focus.

Standing in front of her, is someone she should have thought of the moment she arrived here, the one person who died the same day she did. "Jasper," she almost sobs.

"What happened? Did you all not make it to the ark?" He asks, his eyes scanning behind me, looking for someone. Whoever is holding her, gently loosens their hold.

Clarke Brings her hands up to her hair, grabbing fistfuls of it before sinking to her knees. "It's only me- just me!" There are still fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. More people appear by her side. Finn and Wells, they have finally caught up to her.

Wells pushes Jasper out of the way slightly until he is in front of her. "Clarke, it's okay, it's okay-" "What's wrong with her?" Jasper is demanding.

Finn is gently pulling Clarke's hands from her hair, bringing them into both of his own.

"I'm alone- I need him, Wells!" Everything is coming out of her mouth so quickly, it's hard for the people around her to understand.

But suddenly, Jasper realizes what the problem is.

As if getting his own back, he pushes Wells out of the way, not unlike how Wells did to him.

Despite everything that happened on the Earth, Jasper still cares about Clarke. The person behind her now is the reason he realizes this. He understands what she did, and would've done the same thing, or at least probably wouldn't be so angry about it if he hadn't lost the one person in there he cared about.

He puts his hands on Clarke's cheeks. "Hey, listen to me!" He demands, shocking Clarke into looking at him. She was surprised as everyone who was speaking to her had been so gentle. "I know I lost my head, I did reckless things when I lost Mia." Clarke is shaking in his hands.

"I didn't get the chance to love him, Jasper!" Clarke cries, the reality of that settling on her shoulders.

"Shh, I know you didn't." He shushes her. "But you will, I know you will. He is your soulmate, anyone who has been around you two long enough could see that- well those who have been around the past few months." Jasper couldn't help but side-eye Wells who just sends him a glare in return.

"But-"

"No, Clarke. Think back on everything you have done, good and bad." Jasper moves his hands to her shoulders. "He was either there with you or forgave you for whatever you did, there was nothing you could do in his eyes that he wouldn't forgive you for, and that's not nothing, not everyone finds someone like that in their life." everyone could see that she was calming down now.

"He loves you, Clarke." Finn suddenly speaks up. "Looking back on it, on those first days down on Earth, he did everything to get under your skin, like a little kid teasing his crush." The notion makes Jasper laugh. How different Clarke and Bellamy used to be. Back then annoying each other was just another day, but he doubted either of them could stand seeing the other upset. "He's always gravitated towards you."

"You gravitated towards each other." Jasper corrects him. "We all know, that you weren't the one who put your name down on that list." Everyone but Jasper and Clarke seem confused by that statement, but a small watery smile appears on Clarke's face.

"He wouldn't let me put his name down unless I was on there too." She whispers.

"Exactly, he loves you." In a move Clarke wasn't expecting, Jasper pulls her into a tight embrace. "I don't care if he arrives here in fifty years or two. I don't care if he is married, divorced, single for the rest of the time, or a father. He will come here and fall at your knees, begging to love you for the rest of eternity." Clarke whimpers quietly. "As I said. You are soul-mates, and here that literally means forever, and he is your forever." Clarke is silent.

She allows Jaspers words to soak in, to reach deep into her soul, where she knows the words will stay until the moment she sees him again.

It all sounds so true, everything Jasper and even Finn said. Bellamy and Clarke were almost opposite to each other, but only in some ways, and not all of them bad.

Head and the heart.

They both agreed on that what seemed like only hours ago.

He will always be her heart. She just hates that it took her so long to see that.

It almost seems selfish for her to be acting like this. She should be happy for him, he gets the chance to live now. It shouldn't matter that she won't be in it.

She loves him and she gave him the one thing any person in love should give their person, a chance of a happy life.

She can be happy with that.

As long as he is happy and healthy... she will live with it.

She pulls back from Jasper.

Her breathing is even now, her tears no longer falling. She still feels empty, as if one of her major organs is missing.

What Clarke first thought was her lungs, now is so clearly her heart.

Her chest feels empty.

But she forces a smile on her face, to show the people around her that she is okay.

Even if inside, she is breaking apart.


	6. Chapter Six

**CHAPTER SIX:**

Clarke doesn't remember much of her first few days of death.

After her panic attack over Bellamy, the boys took her home. She remembers them helping her up the stairs, despite her telling them that she didn't need help.

She couldn't remember much about what she saw in her new home, what things decorated the walls or the small end tables. Her eyes were too blurry to see. 

After she was escorted into her room and tucked into bed like a child, she remembers only Wells staying behind while she lay facing away from him, staring at the wall, pretending to be asleep. 

It didn't take long for him to also leave her alone. After all, he had someone to go home to.  
  
That night, Clarke cried herself to sleep, surprising even her. Who knew that you could sleep in the afterlife? 

She couldn't bring herself to get out of bed in the morning. 

Or the day after that... or the following week after that. 

The longer Clarke didn't eat, didn't get up, didn't socialize, the number she felt. 

She couldn't bring herself to speak to those who visited, Wells, Finn, her father. The only person she felt remotely comfortable around was Jasper. 

But Clarke had already told him to go and spend time with Maya. It was selfish of her to make him miss out just because she was spiraling. However, his distance didn't last very long;

On the eleventh day Clarke had been here, she heard her front door open at the same time it did every day. Each time it was someone different. Someone coming to check on her. Clarke didn't understand why they needed too, considering she couldn't die again.

However, this time, Clarke could hear more than one pair of footsteps and there was more than one voice floating up the stairs. 

This causes a flare of fear to rise in her. Clarke wasn't sure why, but she had a feeling this was going to be someone she didn't want to see. 

The voices begin to climb their way up the steps leading to Clarke's room. They were talking in hushed whispers as if they didn't want Clarke to hear them. 

But she did. 

Pushing herself up, Clarke leans back against her pillows, pushing her greasy hair out of her eyes. She didn't care what she looked like, didn't care what they thought of her. This was her own home, she could do what she liked. 

A gentle knock on the door sounds before it slowly pushed open. Clarke isn't surprised to see her father standing there. 

"Dad," Clarke greets weekly. 

Jake walks into the room, sending a silent look to whoever was behind him, out of view. "Sweetheart, I've brought some people to see you." He walks to his daughters' bedside and kneels beside it. "I'm worried about you and I think they can help." 

Fear sparks in Clarke again. "They're not doctors are they?" Her voice comes out shaky. She can remember the few people who came through the hospital on the ark, sitting there, vacant look in their eyes as they dealt with a lost loved one or a floated child. They were treated like dirt. Doctors expected them to just get over their losses, to accept the justice system that deemed their child, their parents, partner, etc... worthy of death. No matter how small the crime, it was forgiven and forget or find yourself meeting the same fate. 

Jake notices the look in his daughters' eyes and immediately understands her hesitation. He reaches out to take her hand in both of his. "No, darling." Clarke's eyes find his, tears brimming in them. "These are friends, the day you arrived, I realized that something might not be right... so I went to look for them, I got some help from your friend Jasper.

After a moment of silence from Clarke, Jake stands up and makes his way to the door.

Clarke leans forward as he opens it and allows a tall woman with long dark hair and familiar brown eyes and freckles steps carefully into the room. The moment she sets eyes on her, there is a stabbing feeling in her chest, and she can't figure out why. When she opens her mouth to speak, the next person comes into the room, leaving her speechless. 

"Lincoln?" Her voice breaks on the name. 

Lincoln bows his head slightly, eyes raking over Clarke as if taking her in. "Clarke, I would say it is nice to see you, but I wasn't expecting you here for a while." That comment makes Clarke laugh. "With my life, I'm surprised I wasn't here sooner." 

Jake clears his throat, trying to stop this train of conversation, knowing it was not going to achieve the goal of helping Clarke. "I thought you could have a chat?" Jake tucks a strand of Clarke's hair behind her ear. 

Clarke looks over Lincoln, a deep sadness filling her guts as the thought of Octavia pops into her head. She wanted to say something to him, to let him know that Octavia is okay- well, as okay as she could be, that she is the leader, she will be the one to bring the human race back up to the ground. 

However, the woman who came in with Lincoln decides to speak up first. "Hello, Clarke." She steps further into the room. She was smiling, but Clarke could see tears were brimming in her eyes. "Lincoln has told me so much about you." She holds a hand out towards Clarke. 

After sending a worried glance from her father to Lincoln, Clarke slowly raises a hand and takes the woman. "He told me that Bellamy cares for you." The woman settles down to sit beside Clarke on the bed. "I was so happy to hear that both of my children had found love."

Suddenly, it all made sense. 

"You're Bellamy and Octavia's mother!" Clarke gasps, her hand automatically tightening on the women. 

Lincoln chuckles. "Clarke, meet Aurora Blake." He moves over to the other side of the room and takes a seat at a desk in the corner of the room.

Clarke could only stare. 

Each of those familiar things she saw when the woman first stepped into the room, she could place on her children. Her eyes were the same as Bellamy's, she had the same slight curl to her hair like his, but it was the same texture and color as her daughters. Her smile brought tears to Clarke's eyes. It held the same gentle kindness as her son's. 

Aurora reaches out to stop a tear that had slipped from Clarke's eyes. "Please don't cry my love, Bellamy would hate it if he knew you were in pain." Aurora sighs, "always wore his heart on his sleeve. Always becoming stupid when it comes to his loved ones being happy." Clarke breaks a small smile. "Idiot." Aurora winks at Clarke and for the first time in days, Clarke finds herself laughing. 

"There she is." Jake touches Clarke's cheek. "I knew you two meeting would bring my daughter back." He pushes himself up. "Well, I'll leave you three to chat, I invited everyone around for a dinner and if I don't get started soon, I'll have a bunch of angry and hungry teens coming for my neck." Jake presses a kiss to Clarke's forehead before walking out of the room, closing the door soundly behind him. 

"I like him," Lincoln mutters, fiddling with a pencil found on the desk. 

Clarke smiles at him, still unable to find her voice. 

Aurora gently squeezes Clarke's hand, bringing her attention back away from Lincoln. "Now, Clarke. Do you want to tell me why you are hiding up here on your own?" Aurora pulls Clarke into a half hug. "You are still young, and even though you are dead, you still have a life." She points at Lincoln. "Friends who you have lost are here, people who love you, want to see you happy-" 

Clarke stops her. "I don't feel like I can be happy and it's selfish... I should just be happy that I'm the only one that arrived here." she stops to rub the tears from her cheeks. "I want to happy that Bellamy gets to live a long life, meet someone he can love, have a family and enjoy some peace instead of endless wars-" her voice breaks. "But I can't, because I know that he belongs to me, and it's incredibly selfish." Sobs burst from Clarke's chest. 

Aurora pulls Clarke to her chest immediately. "Oh no, sweetheart... it's completely normal to feel like that, he is your soulmate and it's hard for you to be here knowing that he's the other half of you." Clarke sniffles. "But I have zero doubt in my mind that my son loves you just as much, he may not know you are destined for him, but he does believe in destiny, and one day he will know that his destiny is you." 

A sudden shift in the room indicates to Clarke that Lincoln had come closer. "Clarke, what if I told you that I feel the same way about Octavia?" Clarke's head snaps up at that. "I believe that she will never know that she is my whole being... now that I'm dead, I'm terrified she will find someone different."

Clarke pushes herself away from Aurora. "That's ridiculous! You and Octavia are meant for each other, everyone knows that." Lincoln chuckles at that. 

"If you could only see you and Bellamy through my eyes, you would see that everyone knows that you are Bellamy is two halves of the same soul." He nods towards the door. "Ask anyone that comes here today, I'm not the only one who thinks so... and it's been a subject of speculation for much longer than you may think." There was something in Lincoln's words that made Clarke pause. 

"What do you mean by that? What do you know?" Lincoln smiles. "During those first days on the ground, when I was doing some spying, I heard a few of your people, a very young group of girls and boys, talking about the two of you." 

That takes Clarke by surprise. "We hated each other back then!" She protests. "There was no way anyone thought of us like that, not when every conversation we had was an argument." 

Lincoln holds up a hand. "Not from what I saw and heard, yes you both disagreed on everything, argued over every small thing, but it's because you are too alike, you weren't ready to be faced with each other... it's sort of beautiful when you think of it." 

Clarke's breath comes out in a shudder. "He was an asshole he- he was only thinking-" 

"About his sister, the young girl who he had taken care of, loved, sacrificed his life for, one of the only two people he ever loved... only to be met with someone, who challenged him, protected and almost befriended his sister, was so alike to him that it was confusing, someone who he realized he cared for and was scared to lose."

Tears were falling Clarke's cheeks again, this time she left them there. "You scared him, Clarke, he didn't expect to find you on the ground, the fierce princess, ready to take on the world to keep a small bunch of criminals safe from a situation the adults should have protected them from." Aurora chimed in. "I know Bellamy, and he loves more fiercely than anyone else I've ever met, if he knew that someone he loved was hurt or unhappy, he would blow the whole world to pieces to find out why." 

The ironic comment made Clarke chuckle slightly. 

Lincoln nodded his head. "That's why you need to live for him, even if you are technically dead." He takes Clarke's hand. "Go out, talk to your friends, experience peace for the first time in years, live again. So when Bellamy comes here, regardless of whatever life he lived before, both of you will be ready to be what you never had the chance to be on the ground." Clarke meets his eyes. 

"What's that then?" she asks. 

"A couple of stupid kids in love." 

Clarke burst out laughing, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

And at that moment, Clarke knew she could do this. She could live however long it took for her Bellamy to come back to her. 

As long as she had her friends, her father, Aurora, and Lincoln. 

This all seemed possible.


	7. Chapter Seven

**CHAPTER SEVEN:**

  
The following months of Clarke's afterlife felt like a whirlwind. It hardly seemed like she had been dead for over six months. To her, it felt much, much longer. 

After voicing her feelings to the others, Clarke was met with a mystic sounding explanation from a small, wispy looking girl, who faintly reminded Clarke of one of those pixies she had seen in an old fairy-tale book.

"We all feel like that, during the beginning of our death," she had said softly, her eyes twinkling in the fairy lights decorating Clarke's room, "our soul is still new, still feels attached to our physical being, each month we pass here, is a year in the physical world." 

Her name was Winter Emmers, and she was Well's soulmate. That was also the day Clarke learned how time passes differently. 

So she had been dead for over six years. That meant that Bellamy should be back on earth, that all the people she had given her life for, should have been living in peace for a year. 

It hurt Clarke more than it should.

No one but Winter noticed when Clarke started to shut down again. It wasn't like how it was in that first week. Clarke hid it better. Only showing her tears in the middle of the night, where no one could see. 

But there was something about Winter, she knew things, things that couldn't be seen. She always had been. 

Winter Emmers had been dead for almost fifty years. 

She was in a small village of people, no more than seventy residents, that had completely vanished long before the one hundred landed on Earth. 

However, they were well known to the other villages and clans because of Winter herself. Her ability to know and sometimes predict things had caused her to be well known. People would come from all over the place to get answers to their questions, beg her to help their sick relative, to figure out why they couldn't have a child, where had a missing loved one gone, and, most popular, what happened to the souls of their loved ones after they had passed. 

Winter was assassinated one night when she was just twenty years old. It was to her belief that she was killed because of her power over the people. 

There was no way for her to find out for sure, but she believes the commander at the time hated how much power she had and decided to eliminate the threat by killing her and then slowly killing off the rest of her clan. 

The story of Winter's life had Clarke completely transfixed. It sounded like something that belonged in a tragedy book. 

However, Clarke had never truly gotten to see Winter's power in action until one morning, almost seven months into her death life. 

Everyone was over at Clarke's home, sitting out in her garden, eating breakfast and enjoying the sunshine. 

Winter was in the middle of talking Finn and his Soulmate, Rosie.

Clarke was sitting by them, trying to get as much information from Rosie as she could. Clarke didn't know much about the girl, as they had never truly spent time together. Most of that was her fault, being around Finn was difficult, and she didn't want to get any signals crossed with Rosie, especially because Clarke was lonely.

Suddenly though, Winter's head shot up and began to stare off down the street of houses, her eyes slightly unfocused.

"Something is going to happen." She said, in a loud, clear voice.

It brought everyone to complete silence. Jasper was staring at the girl in shock, as was Clarke herself. 

It was strange, no one had ever heard her speak like that before. Usually, she was so soft-spoken and kind that it was sometimes hard to hear her. It almost felt like they were hearing a different person now.

Well's rushed to her side, putting his hands on her face and bringing her head around to meet his eyes. "Winter? hey?-" 

The sudden unfocused look in Winter's eyes disappeared and she suddenly slumped forward into Well's hold, as if she was suddenly completely exhausted. 

Wells and Finn had a strange look on their face. 

"What is going on?" Rosie asked, her head snapping from Winter to Wells to Finn, her short curly hair bobbing wildly. Clarke suddenly thought of how much opposite Rosie looked to Finn's other girlfriends. She had fair skin like Clarke, but her hair was jet black and her eyes were as green as the forests on Earth. Nothing like Raven or Clarke herself. 

The thought was pushed from her mind by Finn's next words. "The last time she said something like that, Clarke and Jasper arrived." 

Suddenly everyone was either looking at Jasper or Clarke.

A sick sense of hope suddenly filled Clarke up inside. 

What if it was Bellamy? 

Clarke immediately scolded herself. No- she didn't want it to be Bellamy, it had only been six years, five of those he spent trapped in space. He needed to live a longer life than this. 

But part of her, a part she was determined to ignore, still begged for it to be him. 

"Should we go see who it maybe?" Maya asks, her hand clutching tightly to Jasper's. "I mean, people arrive here every day and Winter has never acted like this, but if she did with Clarke and Jasper... we must know this person?" Rosie was nodding her head to Maya's words.

However, Clarke shakes her head. "We don't know for sure if it's someone arriving, we can't know unless Winter tells us, or we see with our own two-" 

Clarke's eyes are suddenly drawn to three people coming to a stop outside a house just feet away from where they all sat. The way they were standing, close together, hugging and holding hands- it reminded Clarke of the day she arrived here with her father. 

Winter was right. 

"Who is it?" Rosie asks, placing a hand on Clarke's shoulder to balance on as she stands to get a better look. "I don't recognize any of them..." 

Clarke was trying to get a good look, but they were all still hugging so it was hard to find a familiar face. Something was nagging the back of her mind. This whole area of houses belonged to the people of the one hundred, or their soulmate's. It either had to be someone she knew or a stranger coming into this environment of close-knit people. 

"I'm going to go say hello," Finn says. "It would be nice for someone to greet them." He stands up, taking Rosie's hand.

He barely takes a step forward when the group of people moves away from each other, causing Jasper to gasp.

Clarke still couldn't see who it was from the position she was in, but it was clear by the lack of unruly curls, it was not Bellamy-

"Murphy!" Jasper suddenly stands, his voice coming out louder than expected. 

The three people turn to look and Clarke's heart stopped. 

Jasper was right. 

It was indeed John Murphy. 


	8. Chapter Eight

** CHAPTER EIGHT: **

Clarke's body went suddenly numb.

She watched as both Finn and Jasper pushed their way past the people crowding Clarke's garden, heading straight for Murphy, and the two others who could only be his parents.

About a million thoughts were circling Clarke's mind at that moment. How was he here? what happened? Did she have to be worried about the safety of the others? 

The thought clenches at her heart.

"Are you okay, Clarke?" Rosie asks you could tell by her voice she was still not entirely sure who this was or what was going on. 

Clarke could only shake her head, not trusting herself not to burst into tears if she spoke. 

In the distance, Jasper and Finn had arrived beside Murphy, who was giving Jasper a weird sort of hug, almost as if he was testing Jasper was real. 

In the next second, however, he hits Jasper over the head. Clarke could see Maya tense but not move.

Tears were welling in Clarke's eyes now. She didn't even think of any of the others showing up, her mind was so focused on Bellamy that she didn't even entertain the thought. Now, she was rigid with worry and fear and sorrow. Murphy had been through nothing but pain, and sure, his response of lashing out whenever he was hurt sure added to his list of woes... but he was a good man and didn't deserve to die this young.

Rosie had now moved to sit next to Clarke, her arm coming around her shoulder to gently guide Clarke into a hug. Clarke went with it, ending up with her head resting on Rosie's shoulder. Despite not knowing the girl very well, this felt nice.

"I take it Murphy is not how I remember him?" Well's asks, his tone slightly joking. 

It managed to make Clarke smile. "No, he is how you remember him... but also different." Clarke raises her head to look back at him and Winter (who now seemed more alert), "but he is my friend, and I wanted more for him than six more years stuck in space and only one on the ground- it's not what I died for." 

A tear slid down Clarke's cheek, but she was quick to wipe it away. 

She couldn't break down, which was not fair on Murphy. It was selfish of her to be acting like this when he was the one who was new here, was just torn from his life and the people he loved. She could not be the one to cry. She had to be there for him.

She brings her head forward again, her eyes finding Murphy, Finn, and Jasper making their way back over to us. Clarke could no longer see Murphy's family and she briefly wondered if she would ever meet them as she did with the other's parents. 

Meeting Jasper's mother was strange. Jasper and his mother were almost the same people, although, she was a lot more positive than her son about the bad things. The day Clarke met her, she was out enjoying the beach with Monty's mother. Clarke can remember the whole group going to the beach, and finding the two mothers making fun of their son's and all the embarrassing things they used to do. It took less than a minute for Jasper to run over and quiet his mother down, his cheeks flaming red.

As the boys reached closer to the house, Clarke shook Rosie's arm from her shoulders and stood up. She brushed down her white sundress and squared her shoulders before walking through the garden to the gate. 

As she approached, Murphy took his eyes from Finn to briefly look at the person approaching.

It takes a second for him to place who he was looking at, but then it clicked. 

"Holy fuck- Clarke?" His mouth drops open wide, his eyes raking all over her. 

Clarke couldn't help herself much longer. She ran the last few feet and threw herself at Murphy in a tight hug. "Oh, Murphy! how are you here?" She was fully crying now, unable to help herself now that she had one of her friends here with her. 

Murphy's arms came up to hold Clarke against him, not fully believing this to all be real. It was weird enough seeing Jasper and Finn, two people of his past that he had mourned and moved on from. Clarke, however, just like everyone else from the past six years on the ark, he had never forgotten, had never stopped mourning. They felt her loss like a physical weight. 

Especially Blake.

"It's a long story, Princess." He jokes, trying to stop Clarke's tears. 

Suddenly though, Clarke pulled back and placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. "Please-" her voice breaks, "please say that you are all okay, I've been so scared that I didn't do enough, that I-" 

Murphy shakes her gently. "Clarke, you saved us all." He couldn't believe that she didn't know just how much she saved them. Not just in getting the oxygen up and running, but the thought of her memory kept them all fighting to make it through, especially in those early months. "We would have never made it up there these past six years without you." 

A hand appears and lands on Clarke's shoulder. "Come on, Clarke, why don't we sit down to let Murphy talk?" Finn says softly to Clarke. "We have so much to inform him on, and I'm guessing he has much to tell you about..." Finn lets his voice trail off and that catches Murphy's attention. 

It seemed like there was something they both knew of that he did not. 

Clarke takes hold of Murphy's hand and uses it to guide him back to her house, with Finn and Jasper trailing along behind them.

  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
Finn was determined to introduce Murphy to everyone first. He took great pride in introducing Rosie to him, he had to ignore the look Murphy flashed at Clarke after introducing Rosie as his soulmate. 

Things got a little tense when Finn introduced Winter. 

Murphy was about to step forward to greet her when he noticed who was holding her tightly. Murphy then took a big step back, knocking into Finn and Rosie. 

"Oh-" His voice faltered. 

Clarke immediately knew what was going on. She always wondered if Murphy felt any guilt towards how he treated Wells in those early days. If he had ever suffered from the whole ordeal with Charlotte (this was also going to be a problem the first time Murphy and Charlotte run into each other here)," 

Well, 's suddenly stands up and walks over to Murphy. "Look, Murphy... I can't say that I feel any good feelings towards you, but here- there is no room for grudges and anger." He holds out a hand towards Murphy. "Clarke seems to think you are a better person, so I'm willing to put the past behind us and move on, only if you are?" 

Everyone was now watching them. 

For about twenty seconds all Murphy does is stare before bringing up his hand and placing it in Wells.

A sudden breath escapes from Clarke as the boys pull back. Winter then steps up to give Murphy a brief (but kind) welcome. 

After that, Murphy gets quickly introduced to Maya properly. Once Maya had sat back beside Jasper, who was staring lovingly at her, Murphy turned to her with a faint roll of his eyes. 

It made Clarke stifle a laugh behind her hand. 

Murphy ended up on the bench beside Clarke, a glass of orange juice in his hand, that he seemed to be sipping slowly as if this may be the last time he had something so sweet. 

"Well," Finn speaks, leaning across the table towards Murphy. "How did you die?" 

Murphy's eyes suddenly became clouded, not unlike Winter's just minutes before.

  
"We were late," Murphy admits, the place stays silent. 

"It had only been three years in space when Raven realized that we didn't have enough fuel to make it home." Clarke gasps. "Going home was one of the only things keeping us going- helped us get through the endless days and nights." the words were once again met with silence, so Murphy carried on. 

"We all began to suffer, it got especially bad when five years came and went... we all began to deteriorate. Emori and I didn't last, she and I couldn't find that ability to find comfort in each other. Emori moved in with Echo, they were both struggling with the effects of being away from the ground- their bodies were suffering more than the rest of us." 

"Raven and I got closer, we used each other to get our anger and pain out... she was the only one who would hit enough to cause me pain- but she needed someone to lash out on, and it had to be me." Tears slipped down Murphy's cheeks now. "Everyone was counting on her, and she failed- she took is so hard, felt like she betrayed us, betrayed the people on the ground waiting for us to come home... like she betrayed Clarke's sacrifice." 

A small sob sounds from Clarke. 

"I tried to tell her that there was nothing she could have done that would have angered Clarke, she's just so fragile behind that strong front she puts on." Murphy rubs at his eyes. "God I hated to see her in so much pain-" his voice breaks off. 

The look on Murphy's face makes Clarke realize where he was about to go-

"I loved her... I still do love her, so I sat there and took every beating she gave while we were sparring, held her through her breakdown and endless apologies after the fight had gone because he needed it." 

"Monty?" Jasper asks suddenly. 

A small smile graces Murphy's face. "He locked himself in the farm for hours on end, but has Harper, and Harper has him. They're not fully okay but together they are strong," He chuckles slightly. "They want to settle down, I heard them talking about children once, I think they had a bit of a pregnancy scare four years into our time in space." 

Maya rubs Jasper's arm. "He would be a good father, the best father." 

Murphy nods his head. "He had to step up and be the leading figure for the first few months." 

Clarke takes a sudden intake of breath.

This is what she had been waiting on.

A hand suddenly closes around Clarkes, looking to the left, Clarke sees that is was Winter. The little bit of comfort offered help in keeping Clarke grounded for the next part.

"Bellamy- god, Bellamy was a mess." Murphy's eyes flicker to Clarke's, pain laced in every corner of his gaze. "He could not get over losing you how we did." A loud sob escapes Clarke's chest and her free hand comes up to cover her face. Murphy pulls her head to his shoulder. "He was so angry at himself for leaving you behind that he refused to eat, refused to drink until Harper knocked him out and almost all of us force-fed him." Murphy gives a dry chuckle. "It took some strong words from Raven to get him up off his ass, saying that 'This is not what Clarke would've wanted for us, for you!'" 

"He's such an idiot!" Clarke sobs. "I miss him so much." Her heart was throbbing painfully and that missing piece of her that she had felt the moment she got here, only seemed to open wider. 

"You meant as much to him as Octavia- no one has ever got their grips into his heart than you. I swear it's split in half between you and Octavia." 

Clarke felt like she was bleeding, loosing more of herself with every beat of her heart.

"He got better after that, everything he did you could hear him mutter to himself, what would Clarke do, would Clarke approve of this, or Clarke would love this." Murphy laughs. "The only time I think he did something by himself and his choices is his thing with Echo." 

Clarke's heart felt like it had stopped. 

Jasper's eyes flew to Clarke's face.

No one here but himself and Murphy knew of Clarke's past with Echo.

And here we find that her soulmate is dating a woman who had tried to kill her.

Worry filled Jasper to the brim as he watched Clarke shake and quietly sob into her hand. 

"I guess it was also his decision to jump ship and raid the Eligius craft." 

"Who?" Finn gasps. 

"A prisoner ship, sent off to do some mining long before Earth ended the first time, they returned to find their home a wasteland." Murphy brings a hand up to his neck. "We waited until they made their way to Earth, leaving their ship empty for us to board. We at first only wanted to maybe steal enough fuel to get us home but, we heard them taking on their radio's about finding traces of a huge source of life underground." 

"The bunker." Jasper sighs.

"The bunker," agreed Murphy. "They had been trapped underground this whole time, and we heard the crew saying what things they could use the people for, including slaves to help aid them in the clean up of the upper ground." Murphy shakes his head. "Bellamy suddenly didn't care about consequences now, not when Octavia was in danger. But for us to go down, someone had to stay behind." 

He suddenly takes a deep breath. "And that had to be Raven, of fucking course, although Bellamy wasn't very happy about it... he had to because it was the only way to protect Octavia... but there was no way I was going to let Raven stay there alone, so I stayed behind." 

"What!" Clarke yells. 

"I wasn't going to let Raven leave herself alone on a ship in space, not when we had no idea if she would get down again." Murphy snapped back at Clarke. "I guess it didn't matter anyway, the stupid fucks had people locked away in cryo chambers, asleep until they were needed. Well, with us there, they were needed, and we were suddenly being rushed away to a lovely torture chamber-" his voice cuts off and his hand comes back to rest on his neck. "I took all of it, every beating, every harsh, spat word aimed at us, I took it, as long as they left Raven alone-"

"That's how you died... you died protecting her?" Finn asks, his voice thick with unshed tears.

Murphy nod's his head. "They took it one step too far, they hit me too hard and left me in pain for hours, Raven was beside herself with fear. I didn't mind because it meant she wasn't in any pain." He smiles softly. "It was that night that a peace deal was agreed on, as long as Abby helped treat their radiation sickness, they would live in peace with us." Clarke leans forward to rest her head on Murphy's shoulder, her eyes closing in sudden peacefulness, at least she knew her mother was sort of okay. "But, that whole night, I couldn't get over the pain. Raven and Harper stayed up, trying to soothe me and treat me with pain medicine as best they could, but by early morning they had to call in Abby." 

Murphy's voice was so low and thick now that it was hard to hear him. 

"Before Abby even came into the room, I knew that I was going to die. I kept falling in and out of the darkness and the pain was incredible." He began to wring his hands together. "Internal bleeding in two places of my body, I had been bleeding for hours, it was a surprise to Abby that I hadn't died yet." he chuckled dryly. 

"Harper made a mad dash to find everyone and she brought them to my bedside, where Raven had refused to move from. We both knew I wouldn't make it through the next hour. The guys opened all the windows to the room, allowing the morning sunlight and sounds of the Earth into my room, so it didn't feel like I was trapped." Tears had begun to fall down his face again. "I remember promising Bellamy and Monty that I would look out for Jasper and Clarke when I got here, and how much I loved them all and-" 

He goes quiet for a moment. 

"And then my parents were shaking me awake like the whole thing was one big dream." 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I updated something, but I've been super busy with work and not had the time to do anything with this story. I also had no motivation on what to write for a chapter as most of my big ideas are for later or the next few chapters...
> 
> But hopefully, I can get stuff written as I am on that fantastic sounding two-week isolation! 
> 
> I hope everyone is in good health! Drink water, stay indoors, stay well! xx

**CHAPTER NINE:**

To Clarke, life seemed to be dragging on. 

I guess, she couldn't exactly call it life.

Sure she sleeps, and she eats, and she drinks... but in the end, it all seems pointless when she is not moving on. 

Everyone else was happy with this new utopia they had been thrust into. They all had the one person they loved and who loved them back for the rest of their lives. They had homes and peace and what seems like endless summers, even when now lays on the ground. There was nothing that they could wish for that they couldn't get in this world.

Only one John Murphy shared the same mind-set as Clarke.

It brought them to where they are now. Both sitting in the front garden of Murphy's home. 

It had been his home for almost thirty whole months now. 

"So, did you hear Jasper's new plan?" Murphy asks Clarke, after a long stretch of silence as they both enjoyed the heat from the sun. "I don't know why he hadn't thought of that until now, considering how long you have both been here." He downs the rest of the juice in his glass.

Clarke doesn't move to look at him, finding herself too relaxed with her head facing toward the sun, making the sunlight reflect brightly off her hair. The same hair she had begun to stop cutting short. It had now reached the bottom of her ribcage. "He asked me if I wanted to help out." She mumbles back in reply.

Murphy snorts. "You, as a bartender? You'd be better off as a bouncer." 

Clarke flicks out her hand to slap his arm. "Fuck off, Murphy." She growls. "You know I haven't been that person in a long time... plus, I think Jasper was only trying to help me out." 

Both sigh.

It was a mutual understanding between both of them that they were both just going through the motions now, both wondering when this perfect nightmare would end. 

"Thirty-six years," Murphy whispers, the words making Clarke flinch.

It was their unspoken rule. 

Don't mention how long it has been. Don't mention Bellamy and do not mention Raven.

"Murphy- don't..." Clarke warns and Murphy growls in reply.

"Fine, if you want to keep living in denial." He pushes himself up off his chair and walks towards the small wall in front of them. "So, Clarke, you going to take the job in Jasper's bar." 

It was clear that Murphy was annoyed at Clarke's lack of enthusiasm to talk about anything loved ones related. He just didn't understand that it had been Clarke's way of coping, long before Murphy had arrived here. 

She sighs, bringing a hand up to lower her sunglasses to look at him. "I'm thinking of doing it, it gives me something to do and gives Jasper someone to work if he wants time with Maya." 

it had become a special mission for Clarke, making sure that everyone else had the time to spend with their soul-mates. If that meant she had to cancel the dinner they had organized for them all, that she had spent hours cooking, then so be it. Just because she was lonely and facing years in this place on her own.

A spinster, as Jasper once so lovingly put it.

Murphy tips his head forward, letting the sun hit his neck. "Maybe I should do it too, doesn't sound too bad, at least I'd have something to do that isn't hanging out with your depressed self." 

Clarke lunges her glasses at his head. 

"Shut up Murphy!" Clarke's voice was hard with anger.

This was a weekly occurrence, for them to get into a fight. It helped them get their anger out. 

It wasn't fair to either of them. Clarke would always be angry that Murphy got the time to truly get to know those she had left behind. He got to live with them in peace, got to laugh and joke with them without the fear of being killed the next day. Had time to sleep and recover from all the wars and death they had once seen. Had the chance to apologize for their time on Earth, to mend relationships and end those that weren't working out. It was everything Clarke wanted, but she didn't get the chance to do it. Now she was stuck wondering if they would even care about her when they arrived. Clarke was just someone they knew for less than a year, out of all the years of their lives, she took up just a small fraction of it. They meant everything to her, but she didn't know if they felt the same way back.

Murphy, however, was angry at Clarke for not wanting to speak about them. He wanted to tell her all these stories of his time on the ark with their friends. He thinks she is selfish for not listening to him. not understanding how much it hurt her to have missed out on it.

Both of them knew that their anger was unjust. After every fight, they would talk, explain how they were feeling.

It was a toxic relationship, but it was all they had. 

Clarke pushes herself up from her sun lounger. "If you are going to start acting like that, then I'm going to call Rosie." Clarke stomps past Murphy and quickly walks past several houses on the street that led to her house.

She could see Jasper and Maya lounging in their garden, two houses from her own. Jasper looks up as she storms past.

"Murphy being a dick again?" He yells as she passes.

Clarke shakes her head. "When is he not!" 

She could hear Jasper's laugh from her own front Garden.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the end, Clarke didn't end up calling Rosie. She had fully intended to, but in the end, she found herself letting out steam in her art room. 

It was supposed to be a guest bedroom, but it wasn't very often that she had someone staying over at her home. Usually, it would just be Winter or Rosie, and they would both just share her bed with her. 

Clarke hoped that would change when Bellamy got here. That she would need to get rid of her art room to have a bedroom for when Octavia and Lincoln came to stay or when Aurora and her soul-mate decided to drop by on occasion. 

But for now, it was her escape room. 

Today, found Clarke standing in front of the window. Her canvas filled with colors of green and blue. Memories of her time on Earth where what filled her art and this time it was no different. Her painting was a point of view of her first sight of the earth. Standing right in the middle of the canvas was the black silhouette of Octavia. There were no details to her, just the black shape of a girl.

This is where Murphy finds her, long after the sun had set.

Clarke could hear him before she could see him.

The door to the art room had barely opened when Clarke spoke. 

"I hope you have come to apologize?" She states as she flecks some white onto the leaves of the trees, making them look dewy and shiny. 

A sigh sounds behind. "Look, I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it... I just can't help it, I-"

"I know Murphy, both of us are guilty of lashing out," Clarke turns to look at him. "But this is going to be our life for the next however many years, and I'm not going to change my mind... I can't talk about them, it kills me inside to hear what I have missed, how much of their lives I have missed, and no matter how angry that makes you, I need you to understand that." 

Murphy looks guilty. "I do understand and I promise I'm going to work on it." he walks over and pulls Clarke into a hug, not caring about the paint that covers her clothes. "I spoke to Jasper, asked him about the bar, he's letting us both work there." He pulls back slightly, not letting her go, but giving him the space to look at her face. "He also agreed that if I ever need to let out how much I miss the guys back home, I can go to him." 

The relief that fills Clarke is immediate.

It was bad for her to feel this way but she was glad that she had to no longer worry that she wasn't being there for Murphy, letting him say what he needed to feel better, but now she could rest knowing that he had someone that he could talk to and could help him get through this time, just like she had in Rosie or Wells. 

Clarke gives Murphy a grin. "Well, co-worker, I think it's high time the both of us learned how the hell to be a bartender." 

Murphy bursts out in a laugh.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I started The Good Place last week and just finished it... I had no idea this whole afterlife I created for this story is so exactly like the afterlife in The Good Place! like the good version or the afterlife! Blew my mind slightly.

**CHAPTER TEN:**

"CHEERS!" 

Clarke tapped her glass against the glasses of her friends.

Today had been the 6th month of Jaspers bar opening and things had been going amazing for him. No one could have seen it coming, considering how many bars must be around this afterlife place. But in their small community of people and those who have impacted their life, this was the first one to catch on.

Clarke liked to think it was because of Jasper's reputation in those last few weeks on Earth, but he likes to think it was because of his dashing good looks and personality.

Whatever it was, it was working. In more ways than one.

For both Clark and Murphy, the wait for happiness seemed less bleak. They both took on the roles of bartenders and took to it like a moth to a flame. Sure the first month was rocky, as neither of them knew how to make the drinks, most of which they had only heard of in occasional history or fiction books on the ark.

Jasper chose then, to stand up and address the whole bar, which was currently only full of friends and family. 

"People, people!" Jasper calls out into the crowd, bringing the loud buzz of conversation to a halt. "Thank you all for coming to the six months, ehem- I mean, 6th anniversary of Bar 100!"

This was met with cheers from the crowd.

Clarke cheered along with the rest of her friends, Wells and Finn both going a step further by whistling at him.   
  
"Yes, I'm amazing, I know... but for now I want to get serious." 

The bar became quiet again. "Running this bar with some of the people I love the most... and I'm not talking to you, Murphy-" the crowd chuckles back and Murphy waves him away. "Anyway, I just want to say, that this has been the best experience of my dead life and I'm glad that you have all been here to celebrate this achievement with me." 

Jasper takes a large gulp from his glass. "Look at me, who would've thought I would end up here, after everything."

"In those last few months that I was alive, I would never have thought that I'd beat my addiction, get over my slump and still get the girl and have a family." Jasper's face falls. "There are still so many things I am missing, my friends and my brother being the main thing, but for now, I have all that I could ask for." 

Maya reaches forward and takes Jasper's hand in support as he brings his speech to a close. 

"Anyway, what I want to say, is the deepest of thanks to everyone in this room and... It's time to get wasted!" 

Cheers erupted in the bar. "To Jasper!" cries Wells. 

"TO JASPER!" echoes through the crowd and Clarke could see Jasper's mother wiping tears from her eyes. 

However, a second after, she lets her eyes trail past Jasper's mother to just behind her, where someone was standing in the doorway, staring around herself in shock.

All the air escapes Clarke's chest. 

"What's wrong, Princess?" Finn puts a hand on Clarke's shoulder, shaking her slightly as if trying to shake her awake.

But she doesn't even get the chance to speak when Jasper, who was still standing higher up from addressing the crowd, speaks for her. "Harper?"

A sudden hush goes across the crowd gathered in the bar. 

Sure enough, right in the doorway, dressed in a baby pink knitted jumper and jeans, stood Harper. She must've been here for a while, enough for her to be settled in and out of the clothes she arrived in, a simple white dress, just like the rest of us. 

Harper was staring wide-eyed at Jasper and Maya, her hands covering her mouth. 

Murphy was suddenly up from his seat across from Clarke. "Harp? you're here... here?" he calls softly over to the girl. Harper's eyes snap to him, tears falling down her cheeks, she had started to shake her head in disbelief.

"I didn't believe him- it all seemed too extreme to believe..." Harper strides into the room then, grabbing Murphy by the arms and yanking him into a hug. "I can't believe it, I can't believe you are here, that I am here with you." 

Clarke could feel her tears dripping down her face at the sight of her old friend. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for, it wouldn't be long until Bellamy joined her here. As horrible as it was her to think that, it was real, she could feel her stomach jump to her throat in excitement.

"This makes what we did worth it!" Harper sobs into Murphy's shoulder. 

This simple comment from Harper had Clarke's stomach fall back in place, sudden fear gripping her. 

Suddenly Well's was standing up from the table and walking toward Jasper. Clarke could see them whisper to each other before Jasper motions to the backroom that served as the staff break area. Wells nods his head at Jasper and the split up. 

Wells walks back over to the table while Jasper and Maya head over to the still hugging Murphy and Harper. "We don't want to stop the party, so we're all going to talk in the staff room, come on." Wells then reaches for Winter's hand, helping her stand up from the table. "You're looking a little sick there, Clarke... you okay?"

Rosie, who had already stood up from the table, reaches for Clarke's arm. "She's fine, just in shock."

Clarke sends Rosie a grateful smile. It was moments like this that Rosie reminded Clarke of Raven and found it funny that this is the person who was Finn's soulmate. "Thanks, Rosie, but I'm honestly fine," Clarke whispers to the girl as they both begin to push through the crowd that stands around, confused at the party's turn of events. 

The girls were the first two in the room, so they made their way to the best seat in the house. It was a weird deep circle thing that was suspended from the ceiling, usually, two people could fit in it, so both of the girls jumped up, Rosie wrapping her arm around Clarke in comfort. Usually, it was Winter who could sense when someone was upset, but sometimes Rosie could tell, especially when it came to Clarke, someone she had grown close with after all this time of knowing her.

Soon the others began to stream into the room, Finn choosing to stand next to the swinging chair Clarke and Rosie sat on as if he were their bodyguard. 

Once everyone was in the room. Harper sat on the large brown beanbag on the far side of the room from Clarke, Rosie, and Finn.

Murphy was standing in the middle of the room. "So, Harp... what exactly did your father say to you when you arrived here?" Murphy asks gently, coming to kneel in front of her.

Harper smiles at him as if she still couldn't believe that she was speaking to him, or anyone in this room. "Well, he told me that this is the place that you came to after you died. That it was a place of peace for everyone, that any sort of grudge you had against someone when you were alive, it all just vanished," she smiles. "And that everyone has someone in this world that is their perfect match, sometimes you know them, others you don't." 

Jasper chuckles. "I'm guessing you already know yours." He sends Harper a wink. "I couldn't imagine anyone being better for you than Monty." The comment makes Harper's shoulders sag a little, but there was still a smile on her face. 

"Yes, I know, without a doubt in my heart that Monty is my soulmate... he is so much more than that, he gave me more than I ever thought I could get at times." there is a mischievous tone to her voice. 

Finn is the one to ask. "What do you mean by that?" 

Harper looks shocked by his voice as if she hadn't noticed him there at all. "Finn, oh god... you-" she gives herself a mental shake as if reminding herself that this was all real. "Sorry, it's just going to take some time to get used to." Harper smiles sheepishly. "No, okay... Monty gave me a life, one that was peaceful and just our own, when it once again seemed like nothing was going right." 

Clarke's heart was beating wildly. Had she died for nothing? She died to make sure that they all got the lives that they deserved, had she failed even that, had she failed to protect them again? 

"And he gave me my son." 

Her heart stopped.

Jasper gasps. "My brother's a father?" he whispers out. "oh, oh god! I can't believe it!" Suddenly Jasper was surging forward and pulling Harper into a hug. "It's all he ever wanted, he used to tell me all the time how much he wanted a kid of his own, even when we were stupid kids!" 

Both were crying now, as was Clarke. 

It was everything she wanted to give to them. A chance to grow old together, get married and have children. To have a better life than what they had before.

"We named him Jordan," Harper says around a laugh. "Jordan Jasper Green," Jasper sobs. "Monty wanted to name him after his brother, there was no other option from either of us." She then shrugs, unless it was a girl then it would be Hannah-" 

Suddenly, Harper stopped in her tracks and pushed Jasper off of her. "Hannah Clarke..." 

Most of the room turned to look at her, Harper following their gazes until she was looking Clarke dead in the eye. 

"Oh god, Clarke," she breathes.

"Harper- I'm so happy for you... you have no idea how much I wanted this life for you, for all of you-" Clarke pushes herself up and uses one sleeve of her dress to dry her eyes a little. "I was so worried when I died... I didn't know what would happen to all of you, I just begged and begged that you would all live long and happy lives." She reaches Harper and places her hand on the girls' shoulders. "I needed you all to have that life, to meet someone-" Clarke's voice was beginning to break, "to fall in love, no matter how much it hurt me to think of it, you all deserved to live it." 

Harper almost collapses into Clarke's arms. "You have no idea how much we have all missed you, Jorden thinks you are a hero!" Harper half sobs half laughs into Clarke's shoulder, but then she pulls back. "But you should know something... Monty and I, we are the only ones." 

Clarke freezes. "The only ones what?" 

Harper sighs. "Look, after Murphy died.... things went downhill." She explains, gesturing for Clarke to join her and Jasper on the large beanbag. 

Murphy growls. "Octavia or Eligius?" he asks. 

"Eligius," Harper replies. "One of them got mad, he hated the deal that we made, got greedy, decided that if he couldn't get everything, then no one would get it." 

The room had gone completely silent, no one daring to even breathe. "He sent a bomb, aimed directly at the last patch of liveable Earth left... we couldn't stop it once he had sent it, so we had to leave, escape back up to space. This time with the last of the Eligius crew." 

"Why would you let them come with you? They are all insane criminals!" Murphy yells which make several others snort. "So were we, when we landed, all they saw us as were criminals." 

Murphy opens his mouth to complain but Harper cuts him off by continuing her story. "They promised us a place to live, they were a mining ship, they had been to another planet, another place that Humans could survive." She gives a small sad smile. "It would take is over a hundred years to get there."

"You've been living together on a ship this whole time!" Clarke gasps horrified that she had managed to fail, she wanted them to live on the Earth, to raise their children in the open fresh air.

"No... well, yes, but also no." Harper rubs at her eyes. "There was a way for us to survive the trip, cryo chambers."

Rosie was suddenly sitting up straight, her hand resting on top of Finn's. "Wait, I may know what you are talking about!" She seemed excited to be part of the conversation. "They freeze you. You are like asleep for as long as they keep you frozen! you don't age or anything- they could do the century journey and still all be alive at the end... oh and... I'm Rosie by the way- nice to meet you-" Finn covers her mouth with his hand to stop her rambling.

Harper looks a little taken aback but recovers quickly. "Nice to meet you, Rosie, I take it you are Finn's soulmate?" She directs the question at Finn himself as he still had a hand over Rosie's mouth. He simply nods at her. 

By that point, Clarke was hardly paying any attention.

Harper's words and Rosie's explanation of the cryo chambers had her heart thudding in her chest and her stomach turning into an empty pit inside her. That feeling that she had had the whole time she had been in her dead life, the part of her missing, suddenly felt as if it had grown triple in size. 

Harper turned back to face the whole room. "So, everyone was put into a chamber, Monty was in charge since he was the tech guy, he and I were the last to go in, no matter how hard Bellamy fought against it, all determined to not leave anyone behind, the idiot-" 

Clarke's breath left her at the mention of Bellamy.

He didn't want to leave anyone behind... was that because of her? and the way she was lost to them? 

"-after arguing with him for a while, he finally let us put him under... he just didn't know that we didn't have any plans to go under ourselves-" 

A sob suddenly left Clarke's chest. 

Wells and Murphy were suddenly by her side, immediately concerned at the sound. It wasn't a sound they had heard Clarke make before, it sounded so empty and broken. 

"I've waited so long- I thought- I thought he would be here soon!" Clarke fell forward until she was crying into Well's shoulder. "It hurts, Wells!" she sobs. "I just feel so empty, like I'm supposed to be happy- I should be happy, I never needed him like this before... but I just want him here!"

She could feel hands on her back. "What is going on? What did I say?" It was Harper. 

"It feels like everything is keeping him away from me, no matter what happens! Why is he stuck with someone like me- I must be broken, or, or maybe I don't even belong here! I've killed and hurt so many people-" she cuts off in a sob.

"Shh, Clarke, you are going to be okay, you can and will live on without him here and when he gets here it's going to be worth the wait! you just see he loves you, Clarke, he always did." Murphy was stroking her hair. 

A new voice piped up. "Clarke Griffin, you do deserve to be here! You don't get to say that. You are our family and we love you, this wouldn't be home without you here, and Bellamy will feel the same way when he gets here too. You remember what I said to you the first day we got here." 

It was Jasper, she knew it was his voice, but she couldn't force herself to move her face out of the comfort of Well's shoulder.

"He loves someone else!" Clarke argues back. "Murphy told me that he and Echo-" a pain stabs her insides. It was hard to believe that Bellamy could love her when he would sleep with the woman that tried to kill her and his sister.

"Oh-" Hands were pulling Clarke up, forcing her to meet the eyes of Harper. "Bellamy is your soulmate?" Harper was smiling. "No, Clarke, I don't know what Murphy told you but, Bellamy never loved Echo, I'm not even sure if would call himself her friend, it was more of a way of relieving tension on the ark... but he would never do that to you or Octavia!"

Clarke starts to shake her head in denial but Harper doesn't let her. "The moment he lays eyes on you Clarke- everything that has happened to the both of you, all the years of pain and separation will mean nothing. Here, he can love you as freely as he wants, without being scared that someone will take you from him again... and you know that the man loves with all his heart." Clarke can't help but smile. 

"I'm so weak... I shouldn't be this messed up because of a guy, I am independent and I know that girls don't need to be with a guy too-" 

"Do not Clarke! Don't you dare deny your feelings because people have made you think that you have to be strong without a man? We all know you are strong, but if you want Bellamy, and you feel stronger with him than without, well then that's you- don't change that honey." 

Murphy taps her chin. "I'd listen to her, she's a mother now, don't want to make her angry... she might ground you." Harper swats at his head. "Fine, fine- I'm sorry Harp." Murphy flashes a grin at Harper before turning back to Clarke. "Besides, it's all of us together, our little ragtag group of solo flyers." He takes hold of one of the girl's hands each. "We will all get through this wait together, and one day, maybe a hundred years from now, you will Have Bellamy, Monty will be by Harper's side once again, perhaps even their son, and I will be spending every moment I can in bed with Raven- ow!" 

A book from the table suddenly hits Murphy over the head. 

"Say that again and It'll be more than just a book," Finn warns, still protective over Raven, no matter what happened in the past.

"Fine, whatever, I won't say it again," Murphy promises but winks at Clarke and Harper. 

Harper laughs loudly. "I'm not surprised over you and Raven." 

Finn mutters something under his breath about it all and suddenly most of the friends in the room were all play arguing and throwing half-hearted insults at each other. Even Harper was getting involved. 

Everyone but Clarke. She was just using the distraction to ignore the worryingly empty feeling inside of her.

This was the most dead she felt since her death.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**CHAPTER ELEVEN:**

It didn't take long for Monty to show up.

Clarke liked to believe that they were so linked that they almost left the world together, even if it did take a further two years for him to arrive.

Clarke was one of the first to find out that he was there, Harper being the first. It was date night for Jasper and Maya, but to keep the bar up and running, Clarke had taken up the shift, working alongside one of Maya's friends from the mountain, Jennifer. A simple girl that Clarke had never taken the chance to get to know past the name.

It was a long shift. The longer the bar was open, the more people from this afterlife came to the party. If you had asked Clarke when she was alive, if she'd thought you would be able to get blackout drunk in the afterlife, she would have thought you were insane. However, it proved to be true. No matter the fact that they could get all the alcohol they wanted in their own homes, it seemed they still liked the whole notion of getting all dressed up to the party.

By the time Clarke had finished her shift, there were still many people parting to their heart's content, enjoying the freedom of not having to worry about any consequences. 

Usually, at this time, most people would be tucked up in their houses with their soul-mates and/or their friends. So normally on her walk home, she wouldn't walk into anyone.

That's why she was surprised to see two people curled up on a bench at the very end of the one-hundred's neighborhood. 

The couple seemed to be sharing a tender moment, the sight causing a storm of pain inside Clarke's gut as it usually did when she saw couples in love. Normally she would just walk away and distract herself with something so she didn't have to witness what was going on.

However, just as she was about to cross to the other side of the street away from them, a voice calls her over.

"Clarke!" 

It was definitely Harper.

Clarke turns in surprise, expecting Harper to be back at her home, where Clarke was going to meet her and stay the night. They both hated being alone in this world where everyone seemed to have someone. Sometimes Murphy would join, but most of the time he spends waiting for Raven to arrive is spent with his parents.

The person holding Harper sits up to attention and makes Clarke stop in her tracks for a moment.

"Monty?" 

The boy jerks up from the bench and is quick to pull Clarke into a tight hug. "This is so insane!" He gushes, pulling back as quick as he puller her into a hug. "A whole other world where the dead come to stay for eternity- and Clarke, god, I never thought I would see you again.... yet here you are!" 

There was a brilliant smile on his face as he looks Clarke up and down.

Clarke grins back at him. "Well I'm glad to see you here, I miss you, Monty." Clarke hugs him again. The surprise slowly leaving her body, tiredness taking its place. 

She was glad to see Monty, one of her best and longest friends, but she was also disappointed that she was alone again. It left her feeling selfish that she wished the person Harper needed most had waited just a little bit longer. She knew fine well that this was always going to happen, that he would arrive before Bellamy would even be considered dead. 

Monty gives her a tight squeeze before letting her go. "Thank you, Clarke... if you hadn't done what you did, I would never have the chance to live the life I had, and I can't thank you enough for that." 

The tiredness seemed to intensify after that comment. "You don't need to thank me, Monty. I would do it all over again if it meant you all got to experience just an ounce of happiness." The words felt painful in her throat, still not forgetting the comment Murphy made when he first got here. That the ounce of happiness Bellamy had already lived, meant sleeping with the girl who once wanted her dead. "I'm happy that you got to grow old- and to have and raise a child! We're all so proud of you." Clarke was quick to change the subject away from her.

Both of their faces lit up at the mention of their son. "Harper's told you all about him, I guess?" Monty asks, his voice filled with pride. "I always thought that I knew love when I was with Harper, but nothing could have prepared me for how much I would love my child." 

Harper comes up to wrap an arm around Monty's waist. "Who would've thought that our parents were right when they tried to explain their love for us?" she joked.

"I can't wait to meet him... hopefully it won't be for a very long time, but any child that has you for parents must be amazing-" 

Halfway through her sentence, a completely unrelated thought went through Clarke's head.

If he was just sitting here calmly, Monty has yet to be reunited with Jasper.

"Clarke?" Harper reaches a hand out to wave in front of Clarke's face.

The motion makes Clarke jump in fright, pulling her from her thoughts. "You need to go back home- either mine or yours." Clarke starts to back away. "Meet me there, okay?" She directs this question to Harper, flicking her eyes down the street towards Jaspers' home, where the lighted windows show they are home.

Her eyes widen in understanding. "We'll be at ours," she confirms, taking hold of Monty's hand and pulling him into one of the closer houses before he even has the chance to question what is going on.

  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

  
"Monty is here." 

The words took Jasper by surprise. It was the last thing he had expected to hear tonight, especially from Clarke. 

Don't get it wrong, he is not upset in the slightest that his brother has finally arrived. Monty is the one person he has missed the most, especially after how they left off. It didn't take long for Jasper to come to terms that he could've handled that whole situation better, despite how he felt at the moment. God, it sometimes kept him up at night, the thought of how big an effect that would've had on Monty. Especially knowing that he had also lost Clarke on the same day.

But it was all ancient history now.

The present finds Clarke leading Maya and Jasper along the deserted street. Maya had one arm wrapped around his waist, holding him up as they walked. 

Jasper was in some form of trance for a while until the house came into view, the light from inside shining out onto the street. 

That snapped him back to reality. "Maya, what do I even say to him?" Jasper asks her in a whisper, trying to hide this private conversation away from Clarke as much as possible. "After what happened... how can you even have a normal conversation after that?" 

Maya snorts. "I doubt this is going to be a normal conversation Jazz, I mean, I don't think a normal conversation means talking to your long-dead friend now that you are in the afterlife." She tries to joke, trying to lighten the mood. The expression on his face stays pretty frantic, pleading Maya for help.

However, it seems like he didn't need to worry. 

A bang from in front of them makes everyone jump. 

Jasper and Maya snap their heads toward the house.

Standing in the garden was Monty, his eyes directed right on Jasper. It was clear to them all that Harper hadn't been able to keep from telling him.

Maya lets go of Jasper just as Monty started to walk down the garden path, his eyes never leaving Jasper. 

"You fucking idiot!" Monty suddenly bursts as he all but kicks open the garden gate. "Do you realize what you put me through?" he basically screams, storming to a stop in front of Jasper. 

Clarke reaches to pull Maya out of the way, allowing the boys their space. 

Jasper sighs. "I'm sorry- Monty... I can't believe you are here but, yeah I'm sorry." he rubs a hand across his face and groans out, "yeah, I know a simple 'I'm sorry' is weak, but I mean it, there's nothing I can say to explain what I did but-" 

Monty growls slightly. "You think I care about that?" he spits out. "All I could think of when I met my parents and Harper here was why didn't Jasper come? Is he mad at me... will I ever see him again, even in this-" Monty gestures around us, "afterlife place, or whatever it's called!" 

Harper comes over to stand next to the other girls, her eyes sad as she watches the boys argue.

"I didn't know you were here!" Jasper yells back, from the corner of his eye, he could see a curtain twitch in one of the neighboring houses. "If I knew that you were arriving- you truly think I didn't care that you were here? fucking hell, Monty! If I had known, nothing would've stopped me from being there!" 

Monty deflates at his words. "I just missed you, man." He sighs.

Jasper reaches out and yanks Monty into a brotherly hug. "I missed you too, dude." Jasper could feel tears soaking into his shirt sleeve. "I'm so sorry for what I did- well, I'm not sorry for dying... I'm sorry for how it happened and what it must have cost you." 

Monty shakes his head. "I can understand why you chose to go..." Monty trails off, sniffling slightly. "I do love you, Jasper." 

The girls could hear the weight of the breath that came out of Jasper's mouth.

Maya was the only one who knew just how much Jasper was holding in about that moment. Always wondering if Monty would ever forgive him, could still be his brother when he arrived here.

The relief in that single breath was several decades in the making.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE BECOME SO INSPIRED AND HAVE COME UP WITH A WHOLE NEW DIRECTION FOR THIS STORY TO GO IN!
> 
> Basically all of this chapter is a "dream" for Clarke until the end.

**CHAPTER TWELVE: **

  
_Clarke was in an unfamiliar environment. _

_It was a small, mud, and moss-covered up. Clarke could tell that it was in a forest, however, she could also tell that there was something off about it. It felt sort like when you know a person but there is something wrong with them, that they are sick or something, it's not a normal thing about them._

_She isn't sure what was wrong though._

_Voices from the other end of the hut draw Clarke's attention. She goes to take a step forward when she notices that she isn't wearing any shoes... in fact, it's almost as if her feet weren't there at all._

_She was still wearing exactly what she had fallen asleep in. A shirt she believes once belonged to Murphy, she doesn't know how she came to own it, but it's comfy to sleep in. A pair of plain blue shorts were still covering her legs, but they seemed to be a little more faded, and her legs a little paler than usual._

_"- It's dangerous! She could die!" _

_Clarke's head snaps up as two people come into her line of sight, panic immediately rising in her as he realizes that she was in a clear line of sight with no time to back away. However, the two people seem too preoccupied to pay her any mind. _

_"Look, you came to me for help. This is how we help her- if she survives then good, if she dies... well that's something I can live with, and it's probably better than living here anyway." A man speaks, his face hidden by a hood. _

_Clarke snaps her eyes to look at his companion. It was a woman, probably in her thirties, battle-worn and tired looking. What surprises Clarke was the pregnant belly she so clearly sported. This seemed like the last place you wanted to be while pregnant._

_"She's still just a kid-" The woman starts._

_"-she's in her twenties, hardly a child... plus this is her choice, not yours!" The man spits then, to Clarke's horror, turns to face in her direction._

_Clarke's breath catches in her chest, waiting for the moment she is spotted, fear taking hold of every vein in her body. It was an odd feeling that she hadn't experienced since before she died, it felt almost foreign now. How she was managing to feel this kind of fear was beyond her, this wasn't something you were supposed to feel in the afterlife. _

_However, the fear is quick to morph into confusion as the dark-skinned man almost looks right through her, as if she wasn't even there. _

_The pregnant lady opens up her mouth to snap back at the man but is interrupted by another voice. _

_A voice so similar it makes Clarke gasp. _

_"Diyoza, I'm going to go through with this-" From behind a stack of machines Clarke couldn't even begin to name, came Octavia Blake._

_Clarke stumbles back against the wall. "Octavia!" She gasps but no one pays her any attention. _

_"-even if there is the chance I die, what other choice do I have? if I don't try, then I will most definitely die." Clarke scans Octavia over, noticing that there is something wrong. The way she is holding her body, curled in on herself, clutching a hand to her stomach as if holding herself together. She is caked in dirt and her hair is matted and lays in dirty clumps. Her face is sunken and there are deep purple bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept in over a hundred years. _

_The pregnant lady that Octavia called Diyoza turns to grip Octavia at the shoulder. "There has to be another way! How do we know if we can trust him?" _

_The words fall on deaf ears because at that moment Octavia goes limp in her grip. The man suddenly jumps into action. "She has to go now! You need to go find her family... just in case she doesn't make it." _

_Diyoza looks like she will fall over. Clarke could see her shake slightly as she lifts a hand to gesture outside. "Her brother is outside with their friends." _

_What feels like both ice and lava both fill Clarke's veins. It pins her to the wall of the hut even as the stranger and Diyoza both support Octavia's weight as they walk outside._

_As soon as they were out of view, Clarke finds herself fading through the wall until she is standing is a small clearing. She had guessed correctly when she recognized the smell of the forest. She has now also figured out why the whole place seemed so off. _

_The first thing she notices is the two suns in the sky, both quite far apart from each other, the light casting a reddish glow around the greenery. _

_The second thing she notices is the large green wall of light several meters in front of her._

_The light seemed to draw her in as if this was where she had to go as if she had been removed from what is beyond it and placed here instead._

_"No!" The harsh yell caught Clarke off guard, stopping in her tracks. She turns her head to the side to see the owner of the voice, so achingly familiar but also so distant._

_She felt her knees turn weak._

_Bellamy._

_He was standing right there, looking the same despite the obvious differences the years apart have given him._

_Clarke's mouth shapes his name, trying to force the words out, trying desperately to get the man's attention. However, his eyes were sorely trained on his sister's limp form._

_"She's not dead, not yet," Diyoza informs him as she and the strange man almost drop Octavia into his arms. "She needs to enter the anomaly." _

_Clarke glances at the glowing green wall at the same time as Bellamy. _

_Anomaly? She had never seen anything like this on Earth... or two suns either. Maybe she was just dreaming up an ideal image of what this new planet Monty found._

_A scoff could be heard across the faint gleaming sound coming from the light. "Surely you can't expect us to send her through there?" The voice had to be from Raven._

_Clarke swivels her eyes around until she finds the girl. It shocked her to see Raven standing there, her hair no longer in her typical ponytail, and now has it cascading in soft waves. _

_What confused her, however, was the sight of her holding the hand of a man she had never seen before. _

_Clarke knew that it was impossible to dream a new face, that everyone in your dreams had to be someone you had seen before. Surely that's why she can't see the face of the man in the hood._

_Speak of the devil-_

_"If she doesn't try to go through, she will most surely die... this limits those chances to 50/50." He informs Bellamy. It makes him age about ten years. His eyes grow sad, his shoulders slouch and his head fall to rest on top of his unconscious sisters. _

_Clarke pushes herself to her feet and scrambles over to the man._

_"Bellamy oh it's okay, its-" Clarke reaches out to touch his face, to get him to notice her... but it surprised when her hand fades right through him, like a ghost._

_It makes him shiver._

_"Bell, we need to let her do this... it's either that or we lose her completely." A figure steps up next to Clarke, they would've knocked Clarke right out of the way if she was even there._

_Echo._

_Rage builds up inside Clarke as she watches the girl copy the exact movement Clarke had just tried. Only this time her hand makes contact with Bellamy's cheek, bringing a small smile to his face._

_The rage vanishes then, leaving a crushing ache inside Clarke's non-existent body._

_"Don't bother trying to take my side... I'll never like you and I'll never approve of you with my brother." Clarke's eyes flash to Octavia, who was staring at Echo and Bellamy with disgust and hate in her eyes._

_What surprised Clarke was that the hate was directed towards Bellamy as much as it was directed at Echo. _

_"Put me down, I don't need your help." Octavia spits at her brother, using her grip on her arm to push herself up, only to fall back to the ground a second later. _

_Clarke jerks forward to catch the girl before she remembers that it's useless._

_But then..._

_"I must be dying," Octavia mumbles, staring at something behind Clarke, looking right through her body. Not even bothering when Bellamy kneels beside her, wrapping her in his hold. _

_Clarke turns from the sight of the two siblings to look at what Octavia is seeing... however, there is nothing there but trees._

_"O, what are you talking about?" Bellamy asks as Clarke turns back around. _

_Her eyes land back on Octavia's face and she is surprised to find their eyes meeting. _

_"Can you see me?" Clarke gasps, feeling only slightly ridiculous. _

_"I think I'm the only one that can, probably because I'm dying." Octavia leans over to spit blood out of her mouth, narrowly missing Bellamy's leg. "Why wouldn't I be able to see you... although, out of everyone they would send, I'd expect Lincoln, not you." _

_Clarke falls to kneel in front of the girl._

_"But, you're not dying... this is my dream? none of this is real." _

_Clarke could hear some grumblings from beside her, she turns her eyes to watch Bellamy whisper to Echo, worries etched all over his face._

_Octavia laughs. "How can you dream? you are already dead." She reaches out to touch Clarke's knee. "See, you are just a ghost and the real you is dead, Clarke... you've been dead for a long time." _

_The whispering stops. _

_"Octavia-" Raven whispers, "-can you see Clarke right now?"_

_She gets ignored. _

_"Is Lincoln there? wherever it is you are now?" Octavia asks, her voice desperate._

_Clarke holds out a hand to hover over Octavia's hand as if giving her comfort "He is... he spends a lot of time with your Mother, who loves him as a son already." A sob escapes Octavia. _

_"I knew Mama would love him." _

_"Everyone does, he's even good friends with Wells, they like to meet up and talk about some type of art that I don't particularly enjoy." Clarke's voice wavers slightly. "He even helps Murphy and I out sometimes at Jasper's bar... only when he is bored though." _

_Octavia is shaking her head in laughter. "I forgot, Wells will be happy you are with him, I bet he isn't all too glad to see Murphy-" she stops to cough. "Who thought giving Jasper a bar was a good idea?"_

_Clarke laughs. "Surprisingly everyone, the boy knows how to throw a party." _

_Octavia opens her mouth to answer but is stopped by more coughing. _

_Bellamy snaps into action then. "O, look... I know you're not happy with me, but I still love you and I can't lose you too," Bellamy flicks his eyes to where he had seen Octavia looking as if pleading his mind to show the same delusion as to his sister. "We need to get you to the anomaly, so you can get healthy and come back to hate me for the rest of your long- and I mean long, life." _

_Clarke could hear the pleading in his voice. _

_She wanted to reach out and hold him. It was something she would never do if she technically wasn't a ghost in a dream._

_Without waiting for an answer, Bellamy scoops Octavia up into his arms, holding the small girl tight to his chest as if she weighed nothing. _

_"Clarke!" Octavia yells over Bellamy's shoulder, holding out her hand as if Clarke could hold it. "Please don't let me go alone, I'm scared I'll die... I don't want to die alone." _

_Clarke stands and runs after the siblings. "If you die, someone- your mother or Lincoln will be waiting for you, it's quicker than falling asleep, okay?" She tries to comfort the girl, still so young, despite all that she had to live through. _

_They had reached the anomaly now._

_Clarke comes to a stop next to Bellamy. She turns her head to watch the terrified look on his face as he sets Octavia on her feet. _

_A distant shout from behind them catches Bellamy's attention._

_"Who is that!" _

_Suddenly the weight of another body almost knocks Clarke over. _

_"You're here!" Octavia was holding onto Clarke, pulling her slowly but surely farther into the green light. "You'll stay with me... please?" The girl begs. _

_Clarke is shocked to feel the solid weight of Octavia's body under her hands. _

_"Princess?" _

_Clarke turns, still holding onto Octavia as they back slowly into the anomaly._

_Bellamy could see her. _

_He takes a step closer, reaching out a hand as if to make sure she was there. _

_"Bell-" Clarke reaches out her hand. _

_Just as she feels the heat of his skin on her hand, Clarke feels her body zap away._

* * *

  
"BELL!" 

Clarke's body jerks up, knocking several small pillows off of her bed. 

"Clarke!- God you're awake.... what the hell just happened?" 

Sitting around Clarke's bed where several of her friends. All of them in their pajamas, staring at her with various stages of terror on their face. 

Harper throws her arms around Clarke's body. "We were so afraid, Clarke!" the girl whimpered. "You were just staring wide-eyed at the ceiling and not responding to any of us and us-" 

"I need to find her." Clarke interrupts.

She pushes herself out of the bed and barges past Monty and Jasper who were standing by the door. 

"Clarke, wait! tell us what's going on." 

Surely it couldn't be a dream? not when it felt so real, not when Clarke could still feel the weight of Octavia in her arms, or when Bellamy's hand could still be gently felt against her own.

Octavia was here. 

And somehow she managed to transport her mind and see those who were still alive. 

She had been allowed to see her loved ones in her dreams.

But why?


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been hit with so much motivation to write!   
Look forward to like 3 new chapters coming up very soon, they're all planned out and ready to go.

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN:**

Clarke was aware that she was followed out of the house. She could hear Monty and Murphy shouting on her, asking her what was wrong and who was here, but Clarke didn't stop to listen.

It was hard to find the meadow everyone arrives in. Unless you were called there to collect someone, there wasn't exactly any reason for you to go back.

Clarke attributes that fact to be the reason why she manages to lose her friends so quickly. Her frantic twists and turns managing to confuse them. She knew she should have waited for them and explained what was going on and all about the dream she had that seemed to not be a dream at all. 

Yet, her bare feet carried her through endless neighborhoods of people that potentially had been born and died long before she was even considered. She ran past small woven huts, huge roman temples, and tents made out of fur and other natural materials. Normally she would've been in awe at the sights of past civilizations all living together almost, but not tonight. 

Suddenly Clarke sees it. 

Just past another ancient Greek neighborhood was a faint flicker of green light. It was so small compared to the one she had seen in her dream but she knew that is where she was going to find Octavia.

Running faster than she thought she could, Clarke reached the small meadow just as Octavia stumbled through the anomaly and dropped to the ground. It seemed as if she could no longer hold up her weight without either Clarke or Bellamy holding her up.

But she was able to move her head, her eyes searching the meadow with the small amount of light that dawn gave her. 

"Octavia!" Clarke hurries over to the girl's side. 

"I thought Lincoln would be here?" O asks, allowing Clarke to pull her into her lap. "Or did I dream that whole thing?" 

Clarke could see Octavia healing, physically healing, and it left Clarke wondering what sort of state she arrived in. 

At least the belief they put in the anomaly worked. Whatever illness Octavia had, it seemed to be healing the longer she stayed here. 

"If he or your mother don't arrive soon, we'll go to them." Clarke brushes the limp hair from Octavia's face. "And no, you didn't dream it, somehow I was there with you all." 

Now that the havoc of finding Octavia was over, Clarke could reflect on what had just happened to her. How, after over a century, she had seen Bellamy, and he had seen her. He still wasn't with her, but it gave Clarke hope, the way he reacted to seeing her, that he may be able to love her when he got here. 

"What do you mean somehow?" Octavia asks, her voice already coming out stronger than it was before. "Are you not supposed to be able to do that when you die?" 

Clarke shakes her head. "Well, I've never done it before... I'm not sure if anyone else can, but I'm sure many people here would've tried it before me." 

Octavia looks a little shrunken at that. "Oh, I always imagined Mom was looking over Bell and me..." her voice makes her sound like a little disappointed child. "It was also what I told your Mom... she and I comforted each other when Skykru first opened the bunker." 

Clarke's heart drops at the mention of her mother. Not many people who have arrived here so far have been able to tell her much about her mother, other than stuff of her pill addiction.

"Did she take my death hard?" Clarke asks. 

"At first, especially with Raven acting so high and mighty all the time." 

Clarke puts the comment about Raven to the back of her mind, it was something she would focus on later.

"I tried so hard to live, I didn't give up until I physically couldn't." Clarke hoped Octavia wouldn't press, it wasn't the easiest thing for Clarke to talk about, even after all this time. 

Octavia stays silent. 

The sun is beginning to rise across the meadow now. 

And with the sunrise, Clarke realized something. 

Where was Lincoln or Aurora? 

If Octavia had died, they should've been here way before Clarke. They would've known she was dead before she had even died.

"Clarke!" 

From the other side of the clearing, two people burst through the trees.

Murphy and Wells. 

The last two people either of the girls were expecting to see. 

Wells rushes to Clarke's side, his eyes wide with alarm and worry. "What were you thinking! do you know how worried everyone is... you can't just go into some kind of psychosis then freak out and run away!" 

Clarke moves a hand away from Octavia's shoulder to reach out to Wells, taking his hand in her own. "I had to go, I'll explain more of what happened to me later... but I had to find Octavia." 

It was in that second that Well's finally noticed the other girl in Clarke's arms. 

"Baby Blake?" Murphy asks, coming to kneel on Octavia's other side. 

Octavia smiles shyly. "Wow, Murphy... you're looking better than the last time I saw you." She jokes. 

Clarke smiles at the little exchange. She was happy that Octavia was well enough to joke around. 

Murphy huffs at the said joke. "Well, it has been a couple of decades since then... where's Lincoln?" Murphy directs the last question at Clarke. 

Wells was the one to answer. "He's back at Clarke's... I saw him talking with Jake before I left to help you." 

None of this was making sense to Clarke. Unless by a small chance that Lincoln was not Octavia's soulmate, he should be here. Nothing in the world could stop him-

Unless Octavia wasn't dead. 

"50/50... that's what the guy in the hood said!" Clarke blurts out, making all three sets of eyes turn to look at her. She uses this moment of confusion to push the top half of Octavia into a sitting position, allowing her enough space to get herself balanced before she stands up and paces. 

"In my dream, the man in the hood was telling Diyoza and Bellamy that if you didn't go into the anomaly that you'd die." Clarke rambles all of this off. She is aware that only Octavia knows what she is on about. "Then he said that at least the anomaly gives you a 50/50 chance of living. I don't think you are dead- just healing until you can go back!" 

Octavia stares in shock. "So you're telling me I'm alive... in the afterlife?" 

Clarke falls back to her knees in front of the girl. "You have to go back." 

Octavia gapes at her. "What! No way- I had to have died... they wanted me dead, they want all of us dead!" 

Murphy reaches out to grab Octavia's hand. "Who wants you dead? Is Raven okay?" 

Octavia looks startled by the intensity of her words. "Uh, she's fine... from what I know." Clarke could see Murphy visibly relax. "the people after us, they call themselves the primes." She almost sneers the word. "When we first got there, they seemed perfectly normal, almost like royalty... we didn't think much of it, until they started asking us who would represent our party, at first I put my name forward but it didn't come to anything because they seemed to fall in love with Echo-" 

Clark snarls. "Please don't say they left Echo in charge of our whole group? She'd kill half of them to save her own life." 

Wells places a hand on Clarke's shoulder, warning her to calm it a little. 

Octavia nods her head. "They picked Echo, they claim it's because they could sense her strong leadership, but I know it's because she is willing to agree with anything they say because they've given her a crown." she takes a moment to sigh and allows herself to lean back slightly on Murphy. "You saw Diyoza? the pregnant lady?" she asks suddenly.

"The one who didn't like the idea of you coming through?" Clarke answers.

"Yeah, she has been very motherly of me, I think it's because of my young age and how Bellamy has been treating me-"

"Still angry at you for not accepting Echo?" Murphy asks, his voice coming out rough, sounding like he hadn't used it in years. 

Octavia glares at the ground and that answer is enough for Clarke. "What happened with her?" she asks to change the subject.

"The primes are old- a few centuries old... they've found a way to upload their consciousness onto a chip, like what the commanders do," Octavia explains. "This one, however, deletes the entire person a body belongs to once the chip has been placed in their neck... they've brainwashed their people into thinking that the two souls share the same being and that it's this huge honor to be chosen, but they have no idea that when they send their loved ones in there, they die." 

Wells looks suddenly sick.

Sometimes Clarke forgets that Well's missed all of the terrible things most of them went through. He had no idea what he had missed out on.

"They want to take the pregnant ladies baby?" Murphy guesses. 

"Yeah... for us to live in peace with the rest of the people here, we have to sacrifice her child." Octavia's voice is tight. "They will raise her for several years until she is old enough to take the form of Josephine, then they will kill her soul to replace it with their daughter... their disgusting daughter who has already lived several lifetimes and is okay with killing innocent children." 

Wells turns his head away from them all, looking like he might throw up.

"Echo wants you to do that? to kill a child before they've ever lived?" Clarke asks and Octavia nods.

"The primes know they can use her so they shower her with gifts and praise. She'll do anything to stay in their good graces." Octavia laughs. "Why do you think I was so mad at Bellamy back then, It made me sick to the stomach that he could be with her, I can forgive the fact that he slept with a woman who once tried to kill me, I've lived my life... but to get rid of an innocent like that-" 

"So what will they do if you don't give the baby?" Wells snaps.

Clarke jumps at the malice in his tone. "Wells, calm down a little- it's not like we can do anything... we just need to send Octavia back through." 

The words make her feel sick. The people she loves are once again in danger and there is nothing Clarke could do about it. 

"If we don't agree to their terms, they will declare war on us." 

Murphy rubs a hand over his face. "You don't have enough fighters, you couldn't fight this war." 

Clarke huffs out a bitter laugh. "That's probably why they are doing it, if they kill us for no reason, they are murderers, but if we all die in a war, that makes them heroes because they defended their people." 

They all stay silent for a moment until Octavia speaks again.

"What if you could help?" 

Clarke looks up to find Octavia staring her right in the eyes as if trying to say something to her with sight alone. 

"The anomaly is a doorway to this world, yeah?" Octavia hints. "Well, doors open both ways... try coming through with me! it would be the ultimate fuck you to the primes." Clarke notes that Octavia's energy levels are now through the roof as she speaks. Murphy is no longer needed for her to rest on. "The reason why I was sick is that they poisoned me as a warning, well why don't we send a warning back." 

"Cut off one head, two more grow in its place... or something like that?" Wells suggests.

Octavia grins at him. "Exactly." 

"If Clarke is going, so am I." Murphy declares.

He is suddenly standing, pulling a previously unseen bag off of his back as he does. He then throws it to Clarke. "Harper and Winter packed you some clothes since you ran out in nothing but shorts and a shirt- well, my shirt," he informs Clarke, who suddenly became her aware of her little clothing.

"Are you sure you want to go? this war isn't going to be pretty." Octavia asks, pushing herself to her feet to stare at the three people.

Murphy crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive stance. "I'm going to protect Raven, she still has her whole life to live and I'm already dead, not like they could kill me again." 

Octavia looks confused.

"In this afterlife, everyone gets a soulmate, sometimes they are here when you arrive, in other situations they're not... Raven is Murphy's soulmate." Wells informs Octavia. "That's why we were confused Lincoln didn't arrive to see you since he's yours and all." 

Tears form in Octavia's eyes. "Wells... can you tell him that I love him? that I'm sorry I didn't stick around to say it myself..." 

Wells smiles sadly at her. "I'll tell him, I'm sure he will understand." 

Clarke smiles at the exchange. It was weird for her to see them get on like old friends when she's sure they never really spoke before.

"What about you?" Octavia asks, drawing Clarke out of her thoughts. 

Her grip on the bag in her hand gets tighter. Clarke motions for the boys to turn around. "What about me?" Clarke asks, trying to sound as distant as possible as she begins to change.

Octavia comes to stand in front of Clarke. "Are you sure you want to just abandon your soulmate to help us? or are you like Murphy?" 

Murphy snickers. "Clarke is worse than me, it's been even longer for her," he calls over his shoulder.

Clarke kneels to sit on the ground, not worrying about getting her favorite blue jeans dirty, to put her shoes on. "Octavia, the reason I want to go is to make sure my soulmate is safe, the same reason as Murphy," Clarke informs her as she pulls on her boots. 

"Who is it?" the girl asks.

Clarke sighs. "Octavia, it's Bellamy." 

Octavia bursts out laughing. "Oh, I know, I knew as soon as Wells explained it." she continued to laugh while speaking. "half us thought you were even before you died." 

Clarke turns her attention to Murphy. "Is that true?" she asks him.

Murphy turns around to fix her with a look of disbelief. "Honestly, during those first few days, I wanted to smack both of you for stinking the place up with your sexual tension." 

Octavia bursts out laughing again. 

Clarke frowns then chucks the bag at Murphy's head. "Let's go, before I go myself and leave you behind." 

She marches over to the anomaly. 

"I'll let the others know what happened- if you need any help..." Wells trails off. 

Clarke turns to look at him. "If I can, I'll come back through here... if you don't hear from me, send help," she promises him. 

Wells nods his head and takes a step back from the three travelers.

"I don't know what we'll find on the other side," Octavia warns them, holding out a hand for each of them to take. "We could be walking right into a fight for all I know." 

Murphy holds his chin up. "I might be a little rusty, but I'm sure I can still throw a punch." 

Clarke laughs. "I can take it, get me a weapon and I'm gold." 

Octavia nods once in agreement.

They all step into the light.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN:**

For what felt like days, all Clarke could see was green.

Her whole body felt like it was being squeezed through a tight tube, breaking all her bones and putting them back together. The pain felt ten times worse because, for Clarke, it had been over a century since she felt it.

Her blood began to feel like it was boiling, little bubbles of red hot pain bursting against her skin. Clarke tried to look down and check her arms, still bare to the world in her short-sleeved shirt, but all she could see was green.

From somewhere beside her, she could hear Murphy scream in pain. Clarke felt like she too wanted to scream but she was so frozen in pain that it felt as if she were paralyzed. The only thing keeping her sane was the cool feeling of Octavia's hand in her own.

Suddenly, it was all over. Gone so suddenly and completely that Clarke couldn't help but wonder if it had ever happened in the first place. 

In the next second, she found herself stumbling out into shockingly cold air. She trips over her own feet and falls into the grass. Her head was pounding as if it had just been hit with a boulder.

She could hear Murphy groaning again beside her.

Octavia was the only one who stayed on her feet, staring down at her two companions writing in obvious pain, She didn't know what to do, there was no medical advice for someone to follow to help the coming back of the dead. 

Suddenly Murphy flips onto his back, smacking his dry lips together. "I think I might die again if I don't get something to drink." He smacks his tongue in distaste.

The thought occurs to Octavia, they haven't drunk or eaten in over a hundred years, which explains the pain.

"We need to move you further from the anomaly, quickly! I'll get you something to eat and drink after." Octavia promises before kneeling to grab a hand from both of them. She struggles for a while but can pull them a safe distance from the green light.

"Octavia!" 

The scream came from behind them. 

Clarke covered her head, the shrill scream making her eyes shake with pain. She needed a drink, no, she needed anything right now. She would drink acid if it meant that the thirst would go away. 

She didn't even care what person had stumbled across them. She didn't care that right now she'd be useless in a fight.

"Emori? where are the others? how long has it been?" Octavia could be heard asking. 

"Bell, Echo, and Raven had to go back to the ship, to prepare what fighters we have... O, it's been almost three days since you left and it's not looking good for- who is that?" 

Shuffling could be heard before Octavia speaks again. "I'll tell you in a minute, but you need to help me bring as much food and water as you can- I think I have something that can help us end everything before it begins."

Murphy was still holding his head in his hands, groaning in agony, but he couldn't help but to blearily open one of his eyes, just to get a glimpse at Emori. To see her would be to know this is real, they did just come back from the dead just to fight in a war, to save their friend's lives. 

It was no use however, both girls were already running off towards some trees. 

Clarke moans. She squeezes her eyes shut to stop the tears while also gritting her teeth so hard they feel like they might shatter. 

She was going to die all over again because of this. Whatever this pain was, wherever it was coming from. Why was the pain this bad? or, better yet, why was their pain in the first place? 

They are dead, even if they walked through, there shouldn't be any pain. Maybe it just feels worse because it's been so long since Clarke suffered from a little thirst or headache. 

Suddenly two figures are leaning over Clarke. "Get her to drink this, it will bring her hydration up and is also a natural painkiller." 

The voice was familiar to Clarke, though she wasn't sure who it was.

Hands were pulling her up to lean against something. "Come on, Clarke, drink up and get some rest." Something was pressed to Clarke's lips. She opened up and drank down the minty liquid offered to her, desperate to get as much as she could. "Don't worry, there's more coming, we have to get you strong again quickly, can't leave my brother waiting, can we?" 

A moan of satisfaction can be heard from Murphy as he too greedily gulps down the refreshing drink offered to him. Finishing it just as quickly as Clarke.

Octavia, who must be the one Clarke was leaning against, quickly swapped out the minty drink for water, holding it for Clarke as she gulped it down. 

The pain had almost immediately taken effect. Enough for Clarke to be aware of her surroundings and open her eyes without searing pain behind them. 

She moved her eyes to look over at Murphy. He wasn't paying any attention to what was going on, too busy drinking a huge bowl of water. Leaning over him, like Octavia, sat Emori.

The girl was stroking Murphy's hair away from his face, keeping it out of the way of the loose water spillage. Her eyes were wide with complete shock while she murmured soft things to Murphy. She was soothing him the way Octavia was for me. It gave Clarke a huge wave of unexpected happiness. It reminded her of the time before all of this started.

When they were all together on Earth, coming together to try and save ourselves from the end of the world. It reminded her of seeing Murphy and Emori when they were in love, of Raven as she tried to save us all, and of that last hug with Bellamy.

"The painkillers are working, don't be surprised if they pass out." Clarke's eyes snap to the man standing over the four of them. It was the man from her dream, the one who hid his face behind the hood. "We'll need to let them sleep before we try to move them-" 

A loud bang from somewhere in the clearing makes Clarke jump. 

"They've found us!" Emori cries, dropping the bowl of water in shock. "We need to get them out of here." 

Octavia was pulling Clarke up. "Look Clarke we need to run, I know you hurt but-" 

Clarke shakes her head, the sound of the gun seemed to trigger something in her brain and it suddenly felt like she had never left. "I'm fine, help Emori with Murphy." 

"I don't think so." 

Clarke spins around to see at least twenty people standing at the edge of the clearing. All members had guns pointed towards them. Clarke couldn't see their faces as they were hidden behind black armor, but she knew that they weren't friendly.

Octavia growls at the person standing at the front of the crowd. It was a tall man, with grey hair and a sort of crown perched on his head. 

The man steps forward with an unkind smile. "Octavia. I'm so surprised to see you." He greets us like we are old friends. "I was so sure that you were dead... but then my little friend informed us that you were playing around with the anomaly, and I just had to come to see for myself." 

Clarke could feel the tension in the clearing. It was clear that the stranger, Emori, and Octavia all knew who this was. 

"I was so happy that my friend could tell me so easily," the man grins then motions with his hand for someone to come forward. "I didn't even have to use my bargaining tool." 

Two guards pull a boy from the crowd. His hands were tied and his mouth was tied. 

Octavia shoots forward suddenly, but luckily Clarke was able to grab her arm in time. "You let him go!" the girl screams. 

The grey-haired man just laughs. "No, I rather like young Jordan, I think I'll keep him for the next time I need something from your brother." 

Clarke felt her blood start to boil all over again. 

That was Monty and Harper's son.

He was using Jordan as a bargaining chip to blackmail Bellamy. 

"Yeah, good luck with that," Murphy grumbles, seemingly feeling better now the paid medicine had kicked in. "We won't let you just take him without a fight." 

The man just smiles brighter. "I don't believe we've met." he snaps his fingers and suddenly all the guards not holding Jordan were storming over to us.

The man in the hood turned around and fled. 

"I'm Russell Lightbourne and you are now my prisoners." 

Russell walks over to Clarke, studying her carefully as two men grab her arms. "You remind me of my daughter," he comments, 

One of the guards behind Clarke suddenly yanks her arm forward. Russell reaches up and presses the tip of a blade to Clarke's skin. 

Clarke watches in surprise as a small bead of bright red blood trickles down her arm. Not only was there no pain, but the last time Clarke checked, her blood was black. 

Russell wipes the blood from Clarke's arm before turning away. "None of them can become a host, take them to the cells." He orders. 

Clarke notes him watching Octavia as they are pulled away and Clarke was suddenly scared of what the man was willing to do to get Bellamy to comply. 

"Wait!" Russell yells, his face turning to Clarke before moving to Murphy and Emori. "I'll need your names so Blake knows who I have and what leverage I own." 

Clarke could feel the blood leave her face.

What would Bellamy think when he hears her and Murphy's names. Clarke is terrified to think that it will just make Bellamy angry, that he'll think he's been played with. 

Murphy spits at his feet.

It only makes Russell smile. "You seem fond of my good friend, Jordan... I would hate for anything to happen to him because of you." 

A sharp cry comes from Jordan, one of the Guards as a knife pressed to his throat. 

Horror fills Clarke. She couldn't fail at keeping Jordan safe, not this soon, Monty and Harper would be counting on her to keep him safe. 

"Clarke Griffin and John Murphy!" She yells, her voice almost coming out like sandpaper. She couldn't let Jordan die, he was the one thing she wanted from her sacrifice. 

Jordan immediately looks confused by this admission. Clarke was positive he had heard of the both of them from his parents, about how we had both died.

Clarke gives the tiniest shake of her head towards him, begging him to keep quiet. She would have time later to tell him everything. 

Russell smiles. "Clarke and John-" 

"Call him Murphy," Clarke says quickly. "Bel- Bellamy will know him that way." 

Murphy was looking a little sick like he was aware that he had almost caused Jordan harm. 

"Clarke and Murphy, perfect." Russell's smile was putting Clarke off slightly. It felt more like a leer than a real smile. 

"Take them away!" 

They were yanked into the tree line and darkness. 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE CHAPTER GUYS! 
> 
> I've completely forgotten to say that I hope you are all safe and well out there. If there are any fellow Scots out there, I hope you are all healthy and excited for getting out of this lockdown! xx

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN;**

After a few minutes of walking in the woods, Clarke was pushed onto the back of a motorbike with her hands handcuffed to the guard in front of her.

Her heart was thumping in her chest. She had never been on one of these before and the idea of not being able to use her hands to protect herself was terrifying. 

Once Clarke had been securely locked up against the person in front of her, she turns her head to the side to see Russell getting onto one of his own. There were two unmasked guards next to him, probably his bodyguards. "Simone is going to be so happy to have guests." He smiles at the four of us.

He kicks off and drives further into the woods, his two bodyguards following after him.

Clarke closes her eyes, waiting for the sudden roar of the bike underneath her. 

But it doesn't come.

"Matthew's! what's your deal?" 

Clarke turns to look at the remaining guards behind the four prisoner bikes. It was clear that they were supposed to be following the prisoner transport bikes to make sure no one escaped. However, no one from their bikes was making any move to go.

The guard that shouted begins to get off of his bike, coming over to confront the person in front of Octavia, who was leading the group.

Suddenly, the guard in front of Jordan, the one who held the knife to his throat, raises their hand in the air. 

Clarke could hear several whizzing sounds fly past her ears. 

A few men gave out agonized screams soon after the whizzing stopped. 

"That didn't take them long." The person in front of Clarke speaks. It was a voice faintly familiar to her. 

"They've not had the experience of fighting from the tree line." A voice from above sounds from a tree near Clarke. 

And a second later, someone drops from a low hanging branch.

Indra.

Clarke's hands come free from her bond and for just a second, she allows herself to breathe a sigh of relief. Then, she is being pushed off the bike and onto the ground. 

She could hear the sound of Murphy calling out her name but after a moment his voice is muffled. 

"Who are you?" A knife is being pressed to Clarke's throat by the guard assigned to her. 

Indra appears behind the guard, putting a hand on their shoulder. "Gaia now is not the time, the primes might return if they noticed they are not being followed." 

Gaia- so the guards are her people? well, some of them are. 

"Gaia, it's okay, it's Clarke, I swear it is!" Octavia rushes over to Clarke's aid. "I can explain it all, but we need to leave now." 

Emori and Murphy have made their way over now. 

Indra nods her head at Octavia. "I surprisingly believe you," she admits but her eyes turn to Murphy and me as if she could sense something more was going on. 

Emori steps forward. "Octavia told me that she thinks she has a solution and I think Murphy and Clarke have something to do with it." 

Clarke could feel Gaia's handshaking, pressing ever so gently against Clarke's neck. 

Clarke was finding it hard to focus on the knife when she was staring at all the people above her. She felt like this was a fever dream. It had been so long since Clarke had been in a position like this, surrounded by these people, all of them interacting as if a hundred years hadn't passed since they'd seen each other. For those such as Indra, Gaia, and Emori, that made sense. 

They had slept the whole time. 

Gaia sighs before pulling back. "Fine, but I'm not the one who has to explain this to camp." 

Murphy helps Clarke stand back up before shrugging off his flannel shirt and passing it to her. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt underneath so he wasn't as cold. 

Clarke pulls it on as Octavia speaks. 

"Don't worry I'll explain everything, I promise... but right now, we have to go." 

Indra nods her head and turns to leave. Gaia walks over to Murphy and Clarke, a look of complete distrust on her face. "I don't believe you, I know Whaneda is dead." She snarls then before either Murphy or Clarke can react, inserts a needle into their necks in quick succession.

Octavia opens her mouth to protest but is stopped by Emori. 

"Don't, if this is what it takes for them to feel safe, good. As long as we can get them back to camp." She explains.

"They looked like the needed a bit of sleep." Jordan agrees.

Octavia nods her head. 

As long as they got back to camp, this would all work.   
________________________________________________________________________________

  
When Clarke opens her eyes next, she finds herself in a steel room that smells like disinfectant. She knows instantly that it's a hospital room. The sight and smell bringing back thousands of childhood memories from the ark.

It was quiet in the room as if Clarke was the only person in there. She attempts to sit up to get a better look, but it comes clear that she is bound to the bed. 

The blankets on her bed cover it, but Clarke could feel the large strap around her chest and the feel of leather tightly wrapped around her wrists and ankles. 

She could also feel the numb ache of a needle in her arm. 

Turning her head to the side, Clarke could see that someone was pumping blood from her. 

"Oh, you're awake!" 

Clarke jumps at the voice coming from her other side. She turns her head to see that someone turned out to be Jackson. 

"Jackson?" Clarke asks, her voice breathless and surprised. 

She noticed that on the bed next to her lay the body of Murphy. He was still completely dead to the world.

Jackson places his fingers against Clarke's neck for a second before pulling back and shaking his head. "No pulse." he murmurs, quickly writing down something on the pad in his hands. 

Clarke's hand jerks, trying to fly to her neck to check her pulse, but of course, it is stopped by the leather bounds. 

"I thought it had just slowed due to the drug, but it's not there at all!" Jackson drops the pad onto Clarke's bed and falls into the metal chair next to it. "How is this possible? how is there a way to bring the dead back- better yet, after everything, why am I surprised by this development." 

Clarke raises her eyebrows. "You believe it? so quickly?" 

Jackson rubs a hand over his face. "There's no way not to believe it, Clarke." He looks her in the eye. "You are sitting, breathing, talking, and interacting with me- all without a beating heart!" 

Clarke felt relief in every part of her body. If a doctor could believe that she was here, then surely it won't be hard to convince everyone else that they are here. They could both help in this war, without a beating heart, that must mean that neither of them can die.

"Why are you taking her blood?" 

Both of them turn to look at the other bed, Murphy was now wide awake and watching them. 

Clarke suddenly remembered the needle in her arm. 

"Oh, we took several samples of your blood to test against your mothers. Just so there was the added match between you both, to add to the case that you are here." he motions to the bag of blood. "We also wanted to do more testing on how it works." 

Clarke can't help but feel a little violated at the idea of them using her blood for science experiments, but she can understand the fascination.

Murphy struggles to sit up slightly. "Who knows we're here." 

Jackson worry's at his lip a little. "Maybe everyone at this point- an hour ago, I would've said no one." 

"Octavia is telling them now?" Clarke asks, her voice a little wobbly.

Jackson nods his head. "I did all I can to prove it was you." He informs them both. "I had access to your old records from the ark, you both had defining features that no one could know." He points to Murphy. "The unusually placed scar on your armpit from a fall against a broken glass pain when you were four, not even Emori knew about." he then turns to Clarke. "A small freckle on the very middle of your left foot that I doubt anyone would just happen to know about, and a small scar above your navel," Jackson laughs. "The one you got after seeing pictures of girls from the year 2003 when you were twelve and wanted to be like them, so you cut all your tops to show off your midriff and tried to pierce your belly-button." 

Murphy erupts into laughter, while Clarke's face flamed bright red. 

"I hardly think anyone would know that- and I would like it to stay that way!" Clarke snaps. She glares at Murphy, who just ignores her in honor of laughing more. 

The door opened at that moment. Clarke couldn't see who it was due to the curtain blocking her from seeing. 

"Jacks?" It was Miller. 

Jackson perks up at his voice. "Over here!" he calls past the curtain. 

A second later, Miller appears. He looked tired and drained. It was weird to see him look so much older, especially for Clarke, who still looked around nineteen.

Jackson crosses over to Miller "Did it work? did the records prove it?" 

Miller gives him a fond smile. "They want to question them, that's why I'm here... but it's all just formality." He kisses Jackson on the cheek, making Clarke turn her head away immediately. 

It seems the ache in her chest from the afterlife is still present here.

Clarke meets Murphy's eyes and she knows that he is feeling the exact thing she is. 

"Right, well, let's get them up and going." 

  
___________________________________________________________________________

  
Clarke and Murphy were led, handcuffed, by Miller down a long corridor. The sound of Clarke's boot's echoed off the eerily silent hallway. 

It was only a short walk to the room they were led into. 

Clarke noticed four other people in the room with her. 

Bellamy and Raven were not to be seen,

However, Clarke felt her whole being fall in relief when she saw the two people at the far end of the table. Abby Griffin and Marcus Kane.

Miller directs them to two metal chairs. 

As soon as Clarke sits down, another guard comes over and handcuffs her hands to the armrests while Miller does the same for Murphy.

Clarke notices the pregnant Diyoza sitting next to the fourth person in the room and Clarke is surprised to see that it's a little girl, who can't be older than twelve. 

"Now, I think we can all agree that this is an unusual situation," Marcus starts. "And without all of the council present, this will be a harder choice to make." 

"I think, it's clear that these two people are sitting here and they are very much alive." The little girl adds. "We're making too much of a big deal about this. Octavia went through a mystical green light that overall shouldn't exist... why should we be concerned that it leads us to the afterlife?" 

Abby sighs. "Madi, this is a big deal as the people in question-" 

"Are right here and would prefer if you acted like it." Murphy finishes for Abby. "Look, you have our medial records, Clarke is a match for your blood Abby- how can you think she isn't your daughter?

The little girl snaps her head around to look at Abby. "You never said she was your daughter." 

"We don't know that she is... yet," Diyoza adds. 

"Then ask us, ask us anything that will make you believe." Clarke all but begs. "We came to help you. Our help is the only way to save your baby without a whole bunch of people dying! It's either that or you hand over your child-"

Suddenly Diyoza was up on her feet with a gun pointed directly at Clarke. "Don't you dare talk about my child! you don't know anything-" 

"Diyoza stand down!" Marcus yells. 

Diyoza's eyes flash dangerously. "She threatened my daughter-" 

"So it's okay for you to threaten mine?" Abby spits back, getting to her feet and coming over to stand next to Clarke. "There is no way, Clarke would offer your child to save others! She just offered us a way out of this mess and you try to shoot her." 

Diyoza drops back into her chair. "So you believe her now?" 

Abby gently tucks Clarke's hair behind her ear. "I do." Slowly Abby's hand comes to rest on Clarke's pulse point, fingers searching for a sign of her daughter's heartbeat, but finding nothing. 

The child speaks again. "Abby, what makes you so sure." 

"I know that if this was some sort of Prime designed thing, they would program Clarke to convince us to hand the baby over," Abby explains. "I also doubt the Primes would think we would fall for this." 

Clarke lets her head rest on her mother's arm. She could see Diyoza watching both of them, a look of contemplation on her face. 

"I was there," Clarke said suddenly. 

Everyone turns to look at her. "When Octavia was sent through the anomaly, I was there with her... I saw the whole thing." Clarke looks right at Diyoza. "You didn't want her to go in, you thought she was too young to making such a big decision, you thought it would kill her." 

Clarke knew she was on the right track. "I know you saw her talking to what seemed like no-one... well it was me." Diyoza leaned forward in her seat. "She was naming people, like Lincoln and her mother? Or about Jasper having a bar?" 

"Shit... they both saw you?" Diyoza asks. "Her brother too?" 

Murphy snaps his head to look at Clarke. "Bellamy saw you?" 

Clarke gives him a nod without looking away from Diyoza. "He saw me, but only after stepping close to the anomaly while I was in it... he got a glimpse at the other world, he got a glimpse at me." 

Diyoza looks shocked. "They had to pull him back out. He started walking in after Octavia mumbling about how he 'Saw her' and that 'she was right there'" 

Clarke could feel butterflies in her stomach. Bellamy had tried to follow her back in. 

"Madi, I think that we are good here, that's three out of the four of us." Marcus is smiling brightly at Clarke and Murphy.

The little girl, who Clarke guesses is Madi, gives a short nod. "I believe them too, and I think by what they are saying, the fact that they can no longer die, will help us win this fight." 

Madi stands up and addresses the room. "Untie them, they will attend the next war council after we figure out the whole Echo situation." 

Clarke's hands are untied and within seconds she is in her mother's arms. 

"Oh, sweetheart- I can't believe it!" Abby sobs into her shoulder. Clarke could hear Madi saying something about getting Murphy and I settled in, but she didn't pay any mind. 

"You have no idea how much I've missed you, Mom," Clarke whispers. "It's been so long." 

Abby gives Clarke one last squeeze. "You've been waiting for the whole time?" 

Clarke nods her head and pulls back from the hug. "I wasn't alone, I had my friends...Wells was there with his girlfriend." Clarke informs Abby, choosing to keep the soulmate thing a secret. The last thing needed is a bunch of people killing themselves to meet their soul-mates.

A grief-struck look crosses Abby's face at the mention of Wells. 

Clarke suddenly felt awkward for bringing it up so she quickly changed the subject. "I also had Dad, he was there to greet me when I died." 

Tears fall down Abby's cheeks, but a smile is bright on her face. "I'm glad he was there for you, it must've been so nice to have him through this whole ordeal." 

Clarke grins. "If this turns into a war, he'll be the first through the anomaly to protect me." she jokes. 

Clarke's eyes suddenly focus on the door behind Abby on the other side of the room. It had begun to open slowly. 

Silence falls in the room as in steps Raven. 

Clarke's eyes immediately move to Murphy, who had stopped his conversation with Marcus as soon as he set his eyes on Raven.

It only took a second for Raven to cross the room, her hair blurring behind her as she flung herself into Murphy's arms.

Murphy held her quickly, arms coming up to press her against him. His face held a look of disbelief for a second before he hides his face in her hair. 

"Maybe we should give them some space?" Abby suggests quietly to the room.

Neither Murphy or Raven paid them any attention. 

Clarke nods her head at her mother's suggestion. Her gut was twisting painfully a the sight. 

She couldn't be happier for Murphy, he had been waiting almost as long as Clarke for this to happen... but she suddenly felt more alone than ever. It had always been her and Murphy, both relying on each-other when being around their friend's love was just too painful. 

A tug from Abby brings Clarke back to attention. 

With one last look at the hugging pair, Clarke turns to walk out of the door. 

She stops dead in her tracks. 

Her nonexistent heartbeat stopped. 

Standing in the doorway, looking at Clarke as if she was the sole reason the moon and stars hung in the night sky.

He was right there. 

Bellamy.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short! I wanted to keep it short and sweet for their reunion, but in the next chapter, we have many cute times with both couples.

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN:**

Clarke watches as Bellamy looks around at the occupants in the room. Raven and Murphy were still enjoying their reunion, Clarke's mother was watching the two of them with a smile, Diyoza and Madi were at the side, both not quite sure what was going on, and Marcus was backing up slightly towards the door Clarke and Murphy first entered in. 

He gives a small sigh before turning his eyes back to Clarke. He motions with his head, asking her to come with him, before turning and leaving the room. 

The ache in Clarke's chest was burning her insides as she watches him walk away. 

Abby nudges her forward. "Go on, we'll all be here when you get back." 

Clarke nods her head and walks forward, her mind feeling a little disconnected from her body. 

Bellamy couldn't be seen when she walked out into the long corridor, but she could see a door sitting open a little way down. She takes a deep breath and lets her feet move. 

She couldn't believe that this was happening. After all this time, Clarke was finally getting to see him again. It wasn't exactly how she expected it to happen, not with a war looming on the horizon, and especially not when she was dead and he still alive. 

When Clarke gets to the room, she could see Bellamy standing with his back to her, running a hand through his hair. He looked just as he used to, just a little older. The only big difference being the beard on his face. 

He turns around when he hears Clarke close the door behind her. 

Clarke notes the room that they are in. It seemed like a simple living space, not unlike where she grew up on the ark. A decent-sized living room that leads onto a small kitchenette with a table big enough for three people. Three other doors must lead to the bathroom and rooms. 

They sat in complete silence.

Bellamy would move ever so slightly sometimes, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't think of the words. Clarke wanted him to talk first, fear gripping at her that he would be angry. Raven and Murphy found each other so easily, their relief at together again overtaking their senses it seemed. 

Clarke thought it would be the same, but so far she was proven wrong. 

She hadn't moved since she came into the room. Her back was pressed up against the door, her body frozen, barely breathing as she waited. 

Suddenly, he speaks. 

"Are you hungry?" 

Clarke jumps at the sound of his voice, it was so sudden that it took her by surprise.

It wasn't what she was expecting. 

Of all the reunions she had seen over the years, this had to be the most disappointing. 

Not completely, she got to see him again, but it didn't seem like he was all too happy to see her. What if he had just been forced to keep her? Maybe he had to be her guard until Clarke could be trusted not to kill or hurt anyone.

Clarke felt a wetness on her cheek.

The thought hurt more than she could have expected, but, if this was the case, she would make it easier for him. 

"No." She whispers, her voice coming out so quiet that even Clarke herself had a hard time hearing it. 

Bellamy heard it. His head snapping up when Clarke speaks. His eyes were wide as he took in her face. 

Clarke continued to not move. 

But she couldn't help flinching when Bellamy stalked forward towards her.

He comes to stop just in front of Clarke, his eyes boring into hers as if he were searching for something. His hand comes up to rest on her cheek and Clarke's breathing stops altogether. She can feel his thumb moving to wipe away a tear on her face. 

Clarke wanted to move, wanted to bring her arms up to Pull him against her, to wrap him in a hug and not let go... but she was too afraid that if she moved it would scare him off, like a timid animal. She had to let him go at his own pace, no matter how much she was hurting... he was what mattered most. 

However, it seemed that Bellamy had found what he was looking for. 

"Clarke?" 

She shivers at the sound of her name in his voice. It had been so long. 

Without saying anything, Clarke nods her head, more tears escaping her eyes. 

Suddenly Clarke was lifted off her feet and held in the tightest hug. She was quick to hold him back, burying her head in his neck and sobbing. 

She would do it again. 

All the time she had waited, spent endless days on her own in paradise, she would do it again if it meant that she could have this moment. 

It didn't matter to her if Bellamy knew her feelings for him or that they were quite destined to be together. She didn't care that he was technical with Echo and had been before. She would choose it all for this moment here. 

"I can't believe it," Bellamy whispers into her hair, kissing the top of her head after he speaks. It makes Clarke's skin break out in Goosebumps. "When Octavia told me what she had found- I thought that the anomaly had driven her mad... you've been gone so long, it was impossible." 

Clarke pulls her head back to look him in the eye. "I heard you were in trouble, I couldn't just sit back in the sun while you fought." She puts a hand on his cheek, feeling the unfamiliar scratch of his beard again her skin. "I've done enough of that this past century." 

Bellamy gulps. "Almost two centuries... I haven't seen you in almost two centuries." 

Clarke copies his motion and strokes her thumb across his cheek. "For now, I'm here... I won't let you fight this war alone." 

Bellamy leans into her touch. "I won't leave you again, I promise Clarke." 

"I know you won't, it's me and you together this time." 

"Leading together again, just like old times." He agrees, pulling Clarke back against him. She leans her head against his chest, allowing her to listen to the steady beat of his heart, while he rests his cheek against her head. "I missed you so much." 

Clarke nods her head, her tears soaking his shirt. "I missed you, more than you know." 

Bellamy presses another kiss to the top of her head. "You must be exhausted." 

"I'm a little tired, but I need to prepare for the war meeting I'm attending." 

Bellamy chuckles. "Ah yes, my war meeting." He once again kisses Clarke's head, almost like he couldn't help himself. "Madi is commander in training, right now I make all decisions... and I think I can extend it if it means you get to rest." 

Clarke smiles into his shirt. "We shouldn't waste time because I'm tired." she lifts her head to look him in the eye. "I'll be fine, the sooner I say my part, the sooner I can get some rest." 

He shrugs. "Well, you are going to lie down until we find out what Echo has done." 

Clarke feels her blood run cold. Here she was, holding Bellamy like he was hers when she knew fine well that he wasn't. Bellamy had Echo. 

As if sensing her thoughts, Bellamy tightens his hold on her before Clarke has the chance to pull back. "Don't bother about her, I'd much rather you be here with me... it was never quite the-" Bellamy stops himself before he continues talking. 

Clarke speaks instead. "I know you are together, Octavia let me know... I'm not mad or anything like she is, I'm just not- not ready to see her." 

Bellamy stares into her eyes, his shining with something she can't place. He moves his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm not with her, not really- it was more of a comfort thing... to not feel so alone, but she believed it was more than that." Bellamy smiles down at Clarke. "I know it was wrong of me to lead her on like that, but I was just so scared-" 

He stops himself again before continuing. "Right now, it's me and you... I won't let her ruin it. Right now I'm going to make you some food and you are going to sit and tell me all about your life in the afterlife." 

Bellamy presses one last kiss to her forehead before pulling back and directing her to the small dining table in the kitchenette. 

Clarke watches as Bellamy walks around the kitchenette, pulling out leaves and fresh meat from the small fridge. She closes her eyes and imagines this exact scene, but back in the afterlife, back in the home that was made just for them, but had yet to experience having them both there. 

For now, Clarke couldn't imagine anything better than this domestic scene with Bellamy cooking her dinner. 

Looking after her and maybe one day, even loving her.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN:**

Bellamy, Clarke was surprised to find, was a pretty decent cook when he had the supplies.

Supplies being mainly a strange meat Clarke had never had before and several pink plants that tasted almost fruity. It was a type of meal Clarke hadn't needed to eat in a long time. She wouldn't admit it, but she missed the large chicken and fries that Murphy and she often pigged out on.

But this wasn't bad either. 

"So," Clarke pushes her plate away slightly now that she had finished. "Do you stay here with Octavia?" she asks Bellamy, nodding her head in the direction of the two-bedroom doors. 

Bellamy just huffs out a laugh, standing to take Clarke's plate away. "No, that's Raven's room." he places the plate in the sink before coming back over to Clarke, offering a hand to help her up. "Octavia bunks a few rooms down." 

Clarke was led to the small sofa on the other side of the room.

Whoever owned this room when the ship was operational was a high ranking member. There was a large television on the wall with a table underneath it that had a tablet laying on it. It all brought back memories of Clarke's childhood home. 

Bellamy lets Clarke fall against the sofa. 

"Bell, I'm fine." Clarke insists but is ignored when Bellamy walks into what must be his room. Clarke barely has the time to wonder why before he is back, with a blanket in his hand. 

"I know what you can be like Clarke, you need to rest and there's nothing much else to do while we wait." Bellamy drapes the blanket over Clarke. "What better way to pass the time than by watching one of the many forms of entertainment left behind from Earth." 

Clarke grins. In her time, she had watched many things from the archives left from Earth, most of it in the form of old sports as it was a way of spending family time together. However, Bellamy didn't strike Clarke as the person who enjoyed sports. He was too much like an old man half of the time.

Bellamy joins Clarke on the sofa. "Mind if we pick up where I left off?" Bellamy asks her, 

"Yeah, as long as it's not anything boring." She jokes. 

Clarke had never been able to just relax around Bellamy before. During their time together it had always been so stressful, neither one of them having the time to just relax and be themselves. For Clarke, it was almost as if she had lost the ability to be herself, she always had to be someone else, always the Whaneda. 

Now, however, it was just so easy to be Clarke around him. To just sit together, enjoy a meal together, or just to joke around. Sure there was a war incoming, but it was hard for Clarke to feel too stressed about it.

She wanted as many people to survive and live a full life... but she also knew what awaited them if they didn't make it. They would lose the ability to have a family or to grow old with someone or another, but they would be able to live a life of peace and luxury when they passed. 

So right now, Clarke was happy to just feel at peace with that, until the time came when Action was required.

Bellamy had leaned over and turned on some old documentary about animals that lived in the rainforest before it's initial destruction. Clarke turns on to give him a look. 

"What? It's interesting to see what it used to be like." Bellamy defends himself. 

Clarke just laughs at him. "It's okay, It's interesting." She placates him. 

Bellamy just huffs at her before turning back to watch the screen. 

After a little while of watching, Clarke begins to feel the tiredness of the day creeping up on her. She had no idea how long she and Murphy had been sleeping for, or how long they were in that meeting room for, but it has left her feeling exhausted. The man's voice on the documentary Bellamy had put on was starting to make her eyes droop in relaxation. 

"Come here, you're about to pass out," Bellamy whispers to her.

He wraps an arm around Clarke's shoulder and pulls her against his side, twisting his body to make it more comfortable for both of them. Clarke's head falls against his chest, his body warming her up more than the blanket.

She manages to stay awake a little longer, watching some bug on the screen. The combination of the day, the soothing voice on screen, and the warmth from Bellamy is quick to send her into slumber.

_____________________________________________________________________

When Clarke next wakes up, she finds that she is now laying on a bed.

She was also alone.

She could hear Bellamy's voice coming from beyond the door, along with the sound of others. She wondered how long she had been sleeping for.

By the stiffness of her joints, Clarke knew that it had been a while. 

Bellamy must have brought her through after she had fallen asleep. He would want her to be comfortable for a while before the-

Clarke shoots out of the bed, had she missed the war council? Surely he, or whoever is out there would have woken her for that. Sure Murphy could do it on his own, but it would be better coming from the both of them, show that both he and Clarke were able and willing to go through this. 

With a sigh, Clarke turns to the mirror in the room, finally getting a look at herself since she got here. Her hair, which was falling in long waves down her back, longer than she had ever had it on Earth, was tangled and dirty from when she was tackled by Gaia. Her face was dirty from rolling around the ground in pain. Her clothes from the afterlife were crumpled and dirty, the white of her shirt stained in several places and clinging uncomfortably to her skin. The thick material of Murphy's shirt, however, seemed to be better off. Her jeans were scuffed and dirty but otherwise okay to wear, most of the dirt being hidden by Murphy's shirt. 

Clarke shrugs out of Murphy's shirt, thinking it would be better to just wear that instead. Part of her wished she had kept the one she changed out of before crossing the anomaly, at least she would've had something clean to wear. 

After she had changed shirts, Clarke turned her focus onto her hair. It was too long for her to wear it into battle, it would be all to easy for the other side to grab her by the hair. Sure she couldn't die if they tried, but they could sure as hell hurt her. 

It wasn't even worth trying to brush the tangles out with her fingers, so she decided to forget about it for now until she could ask her mother to cut it off. 

Clarke then left the bedroom. 

When she opens the door, she finds that the kitchen has several people standing around it. Bellamy was in there, and judging by the smell, he was making preparing the same weird plants as before.

The first person she notices is Murphy. He was sitting with his feet sprawled across the walkway, Emori was sitting by his feet, sewing up part of his trousers and laughing at something someone had said. In the kitchen with Bellamy, was a man Clarke recognised from her dream, the one who was holding Raven's hand. 

Raven herself, was sitting on one of the kitchenette counters, laughing down at Murphy. She was no longer paying attention to the man in Clarke's dream. 

Murphy was the first to notice Clarke step into the room. 

He gives her an up and down look. "You look like crap," he murmurs as a hello. 

Clarke glares at him. "You had a look at yourself?" She retaliates. 

Murphy just grins at her.

"Not so much a morning person, Clarke?" Emori asks. 

"Probably the lack of morning coffee, she became slightly addicted in the afterlife, Harper and I liked to joke about a cupboard in her kitchen filled with like thirty flavours." Murphy tosses a roll of thread at Clarke, which she catches easily.

Clarke had no time to respond before someone had thrown their arms around her.

Raven.

Clarke felt bad that she had yet to think of her friend. She had only thought of Murphy and how happy he would be to see her, not how she would feel. Yet, here she was, Raven, the girl who was a sister to her. Clarke was hit suddenly with how much she missed her. 

"Miss me, did you?" Clarke jokes. 

Raven just pulled back to look at her. "I'm never letting you run off to do something on your own again!" Raven yells then proceeds to gently punch Clarke in the arm. 

Bellamy appears by their side, holding a plate full of the strange plants, although, this time they were blue. "You're not the only one," he grins at Clarke then walks off to the table. 

Murphy and Clarke meet eyes, his questioning and hers hopeful. She hoped that Murphy hadn't said anything about soul-mates to Raven. It would be difficult for her to come up with a reason why she couldn't tell them about it.

"Oh! Clarke- meet Shaw, I forgot you haven't met yet." Raven grabs hold of Clarke's hand and yanks her over to meet the man she saw in the dream. "He was part of the crew who owns this ship, he's been helping us since we left Earth." 

Clarke held out her hand toward the man. "I have seen you before, but it's nice to meet you properly," Clarke says to him. 

"How-" 

Bellamy clears his throat. "I'm sure we'll all have the time to talk and meet later, we need to get some food in before the meeting starts." Clarke notices him send her a smile. "You woke up just in time, Clarke." 

There was something off about his smile. He looked as if he were nervous about something. Clarke had to pin it on the meeting making him like that, considering it was his girlfriend that was the problem. 

Murphy pushes himself off the ground then walks over to Clarke. He throws an arm around her shoulder. "So I think it might be good for us to write down a list of people we might be able to convince this too." He suggests, leading Clarke over to the table. Raven had hopped back up onto the counter while Shaw joined Emori on the ground. 

Clarke noticed something, not once had Murphy even looked in Raven's direction, he seemed to have blocked her out of his vision.

"Who do you have in mind?" Bellamy asks, coming to take the third seat next to Murphy and Clarke, "Can you even talk to many people there?"

Clarke picks up one of the blue plants, it felt very smooth, like silk. It was the kind of material that Winter and Wells would have in their house. 

"Everyone and anyone you could wish for," Murphy answers, shoving several of the plants in his mouth.

"It's all set out in a street," Clarke explains. "Like the sort of streets, you would see in the old films and pictures of Earth. There are thousands of them, we have neighbourhoods with those who we've encountered in life and been almost identified as... if that makes any sense to you." 

Raven quirks an eyebrow. "And what are we? what have we been identified as? who is our neighbourhood." she asks. 

"For most of us it's those from the one hundred," Clarke answers when Murphy makes no move to. 

"Unless your soulmate lives somewhere else." 

Clarke freezes when the words leave Murphy's mouth. She turns to glare at him, only to find that he too had become as still as a statue.

"Soulmate's?" Shaw asks, his voice laced with disbelief. 

Clarke lets her head fall into her hand. 

Emori jumps up from the ground. "You've been back for over a day and this is the first time you've mentioned the fact that there are soulmate's waiting for us?" 

"You want us to believe that you came here to fight a war and left your soulmate's behind?" Raven deadpans. "Yeah, not believe it." 

"It's true... we just didn't want to tell anyone." Clarke sighs. "If we told people, their need to fight would be gone... we can't have that." Clarke could feel their gazes burning through her clothes and sticking to her skin. It felt like she was dying all over again. "You could end up with your soulmate here and live a full life with marriage and children and friends, but if you found out you had a soulmate waiting for you, you can give that all up only to be alone for decades until they arrive... people need a chance to live their life." 

"No cutting corners." Murphy agrees. 

Clarke raises her head then, meeting all the eyes in the room, but Bellamy's.

Raven was looking down at her feet. "I understand... but it's nice to know that there's someone perfect waiting for us." 

From the corner of her eye, Clarke could see Murphy shift uncomfortably.

"So, who is your soulmate's?" Shaw asks. 

Raven elbows him in the rib. "Don't ask that... it's personal." 

Shaw ducks his head down. 

Bellamy takes that moment to speak. 

"So, can we expect anyone we know?" he asks before pushing the plate of plants toward Clarke. "Just in case we have to prepare for any disasters between rivals or those with grudges." 

"I feel like we can count on Wells for definite, he's not going to leave Clarke alone here." Murphy points out. "And where Wells goes, Winter will join." 

Clarke nods. "I don't think many of our group will stay behind. I'm not sure how Jasper will feel about the situation, but Maya might talk him into it, especially if Monty and Harper come- which they will, they will try to keep Jordan out of this." 

"Jasper doesn't have to fight, he can learn what common plants are medicinal and help the wounded," Murphy suggests. "Lincoln will be here to help with that, or whatever fight he needs to be in to protect Octavia. Finn and Rosie will be here in an instant... and if things get too out of hand, maybe... you could speak to Lexa?" 

Clarke sighs. "I don't think she would be willing and I don't want to have to ask her to do that." 

Murphy just shrugs. "Well, let's hope it doesn't come to it, perhaps we can even ask some others from the neighbourhood." 

"So, for now, we're talking just the close bunch of us?" Clarke asks. 

The door to the room opens. 

Octavia walks in and the sight of her makes both Bellamy and Clarke stand up immediately.

She had tear marks on her cheeks and her eyes were red and swollen. Clarke was worried for second until she noted the smile on Octavia's face. 

"They came... Lincoln, the others-" 

Clarke looked to Murphy. 

Looks like they didn't have to call on them after all.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I'VE BEEN GONE SO LONG! 
> 
> I've been really sick and working overtime! This is another filler chapter because I was struggling to write for a while, but the next one will be a proper chapter and hopefully up at the same time as this one!

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:**

Octavia comes further into the room, Clarke notes that the girl's hands were shaking. "Lincoln-" Octavia's voice breaks on his name but a smile is still firmly on his face. "They're being assessed by the council now, Abby promised that she would do everything to convince them who they are... but I think they'll listen to you, Clarke and Murphy." 

Clarke immediately gets to her feet. "Who else came?" she asks.

Octavia sags against the wall. "Only three turned up here, I don't know about who else came through, but so far, all I know is that Lincoln is here, Miller told me." 

Clarke's mind begins to immediately question who it may be and why only three of them showed up. But right now she had to focus on proving who they are first.

Murphy seemed to be on the same train of thought. "Will they allow Clarke and I to sit in on the interrogation?" he asks Octavia. 

As if remembering something, Octavia jerks back up off the wall. "Oh- yeah, they sent me to retrieve you." The girl seemed so lost in her thoughts. Clarke felt like she could understand exactly what Octavia was thinking. Her mind too was also on Bellamy a lot when she knew that they would be together again.

Sure, it is different for Clarke than it is for Octavia and Lincoln... at least their love is returned. 

Clarke lets her eyes roam over Bellamy for a quick second, her mind flashing back to that moment only hours ago when he hugged her so tightly. Her heart ached over the small distance that currently sat between them. 

As if he read her mind, Bellamy chose that moment to place his hand over one of Clarke's. "Will you be okay? I can come with you?" He asks Clarke softly, eyes never leaving hers. 

Clarke's chest throbs in pain at the softness of it, part of her brain wanting to think that he could love her too.

But she is all too aware of Echo still.

"I think I'll be okay, I'm sure you'll come by after it's all settled, you can look forward to a soppy reunion with whoever is behind that door." Clarke jokes, hoping to change the serious atmosphere as a way of distracting herself from the pain.

"All depends on who it is." Murphy comments.

Emori seemed to have finished what she was fixing for him as Murphy was now standing up. He motions towards the door, "ladies first, Princess." He smirks. 

Clarke reaches out to punch his arm with her free hand. 

"We should get going," Octavia agrees.

Clarke nods her head then reluctantly removes her hand from under Bellamy's. She turns to look at the man. "I'll be back soon." 

The look that suddenly appeared on his face took Clarke completely by surprise.

Bellamy looked terrified as if the thought of Clarke leaving was physically hurting him, it took her breath away. "I'll be okay, Bell." Clarke whispers, "I'll be back before you can even start missing me."

Bellamy shakes his head and stands up, never letting his eyes leave Clarkes as he wraps his arms around her, surprising Clarke with the force of the hug, but she returns it just as hard.

"It's too late for that." He whispers suddenly while pulling back to press a kiss to the side of her head. 

Clarke feels someone else take hold of her hand. "I'll return her in one piece," Murphy says, before pulling Clarke away from Bellamy because it seemed like Clarke was having trouble doing it herself

As she was pulled from the room, Clarke came back to her senses long enough to look at Murphy and Octavia. Both of them were looking at Clarke with wide, knowing eyes. "Shut up," she mumbles before they even had the chance to say anything.

Murphy just holds his hands up in fake surrender. "I didn't say anything." 

Octavia looped her arm around Clarke's as she falls into step with her and Murphy. "I'm going to ask something, and I don't want you to lie to me." 

Clarke turns to look at the girl, raising an eyebrow in question.

"The way you've been looking at my brother-" Octavia starts and Clarke freezes. "It makes me think, well, Clarke would not be looking at him like that if she had left behind her soul-mate, so being as smart as I am... I'm beginning to think you haven't left behind a soul-mate, more like reunited with one?" 

Clarke's feet begin to slow down and she's sure she would've stopped in her tracks if it weren't for the grip both Murphy and Octavia had on her.

Murphy snorts, "I'm not surprised you've figured it out." he answers on Clarke's behalf. "I'm more surprised that more people haven't put it together." 

Octavia shrugs. "I think the others are more preoccupied with the war and who might come back, but Bellamy is my brother, I notice these things." 

Clarke snaps out of her shocked state. "Are you okay with it?" she asks Octavia.

The three of them come to a stop outside of the door that leads to the room she and Murphy had been held in. Octavia turns as they do so, facing Clarke. "It's no surprise, anyone with eyes could see that you would be good together." Clarke's eyes widen. "I think I first really saw it that day when you first hugged after you returned from mount weather, you hardly noticed I was there." 

A blush crept up Clarke's neck to her cheeks. She could remember the relief of seeing Bellamy there, but it never occurred to her that her feelings were deeper than simple relief. 

"If you need my approval, you've got it, Clarke." 

Clarke gives a weak nod. It was an unfamiliar feeling, talking so casually about her feelings towards Bellamy and it not being with someone from the afterlife. It made it all seem more real.

Octavia squeezes Clarke's arm before stepping back and motioning to the door.

Murphy quirks an eyebrow. "Are you not coming in?" he asks.

Octavia shakes her head and gives a small shrug. "I'm deemed too unstable to make a decision and I'm too close to the subject of interrogation, that's why Bellamy and Raven were kept away from your questioning," she explains. Clarke notices the shift in Octavia's mood by the way her shoulders slump and her voice wavers.

"We'll try to be as quick as possible," Clarke says, the words coming out weak from her previous shock. She clears her throat before she tries talking again. "I promise, I'll make it as quick as possible."

Murphy nods his head in agreement. 

Octavia sighs sadly, her body shifting to rest her weight on the wall. She suddenly looked a lot older than she was. "Thank you." 

Clarke gives her a reassuring smile before taking a deep breath as Murphy opens the door for them. He uses his hand to guide Clarke into the room.

It was set up just as it was before, Abby and Marcus were sat close together while Diyoza and Madi sat on either side of them. Miller was standing on the other side of the room, next to the other door. This time, however, there were three people tied to chairs instead of two.

Wells, Finn and Lincoln. 

Everyone looked up as they came into the room. Clarke could see the weight fall off of Wells's shoulders as if it were something real. 

"Thank god," he mumbles under his breath and it makes Clarke want to run over and yank him into a hug. She guiltily hadn't worried about Wells and the others, about how they would be handling not knowing what was going on.

"Clarke, Murphy, would you please join us," Abby asks, her voice coming out a little broken.

It was then that Clarke notices how much effort her mother was using to not look at Wells. The guilt was clear and bright on Abby's face.

"No need, this won't take long." Young Madi announces. "They came with word from Gabriel, I see no need in interrogation, as long as they can be confirmed to be dead." The girl turns to Murphy and Clarke, who had barely taken three steps into the room.

Murphy clears his throat to speak but Clarke gets there first. "I can confirm they are dead. I was the one to personally bury Wells and I was the one to kill Finn with my own two hands." Her voice comes out hard as she gives her reasons. 

Murphy nods in agreement. "I was almost hanged for Wells's death, I can confirm he is real." 

"And I saw just how affected my friend was by the death of Lincoln, I know he is dead and I know that he sits here in front of us." Clarke finishes.

Diyoza looks to Madi. "I think we can believe them." 

"I know we can believe them, this is all a waste of time," Marcus pipes up, leaning forward on the table to address everyone. "We have a meeting to hold, this needs to be over with." 

Madi drums her fingers on the table for a moment then looks back up. "I believe them- Miller, please untie our guests." The girl turns to Diyoza next. "Would you please inform the others that the meeting is to begin?" 

Abby stands up quickly. "Please, allow me." 

Clarke watches as Abby spares Wells one look before snapping her eyes back to the little girl. 

Madi just shrugs. "Go ahead." She answers. 

Clarke's attention is moved back to the three people in chairs. Finn had already been untied, he and Miller share a quick awkward moment, unsure what to say to each other before Finn turns to Clarke.

She reaches out to pull him into a hug just as he steps towards her. "Glad you're okay, Princess." Finn murmurs into her hair before pulling back. 

Lincoln was now standing next to them, his eyes wide and staring at the door to the room as if he could sense Octavia standing out there waiting for him. 

Clarke turns to Madi. "Can he-"

Madi just gestures with her hand, a silent approval for Lincoln to go. 

Lincoln bows his head toward her. "Thank you, young commander." The words come out in a rush before Lincoln strides to the door. 

Clarke could see him take a deep breath, his hands shaking before he reaches to open the door. 

Almost as soon as he touches the door, it swings open and Octavia stumbles right into him. Clarke grins as she watches Lincoln catch her, arms going around the girl as soon as he realises it was her. His soulmate, the girl he had loved now back in his arms, only slightly older and wiser. 

Octavia lets out a choked sob when she realised who was holding her. 

"Lincoln!" She cries, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing a desperate kiss to his lips. Pulling back just as quickly to make sure he was there. 

Clarke forces herself to look away, turning her gaze on Wells now, trying to ignore the jealousy flaring inside her. How she wished she had that kind of love. 

Wells gives Clarke a sad, knowing smile. She steps forward, just as he raises his arms to greet her. "I was so worried about you, we all were." He holds Clarke tight while he speaks. "I had to keep telling myself that you would be back, you would check-in... I knew time was different in the afterlife, I didn't know how long to wait until I followed you through. Winter was fully prepared to leave the moment I told her what happened." 

Clarke pulls back to look at him. "It's only been a few hours, maybe just over a day... I'm not sure, I've spent a lot of that time sleeping." She informs him. 

Wells sighs. "I knew there had to be some reason you didn't come back, didn't stop us all from coming." He smirks at her. "You've worried the family, your Dad's going crazy." 

Clarke's stomach does a flip. "Who all came through?" she asks. 

From beside them, Finn laughs. "Everyone... did you seriously think we were all going to just sit there?" he asks, now bending down to sit back in one of the chairs. "We just got antsy waiting for everyone to recover from the journey... so we sneaked off." 

"It's all Finn's fault, he was worried about you and Raven." 

Clarke turns to see that Lincoln and Octavia had joined them, Octavia was tucked under Lincolns arm, tears were still present on her face. 

Finn scoffs. "Please, you were foaming at the mouth to get back to Octavia." 

"Plus, Raven is just fine." Murphy comments. 

Clarke jumps at the sound of Murphy's voice. He had been so quiet this whole time. She was also surprised to hear the venom in Murphy's voice.

She immediately knew that something had happened between Murphy and Raven. She remembered the fact that he could barely look in the girl's direction when they were back in the room a moment ago. 

Finn gives Murphy a once over, obviously hearing the same thing Clarke had. 

Before anyone else has the chance to speak, Madi stands from where she was still sat. "Will you all please take a seat, the meeting will begin soon, it would be better if you kept any information to yourself until everyone is here." 

Lincoln was the first to act, once again bowing his head toward the young girl before moving to take a seat. 

The mood in the room seems to shift then, all the happy vibes from the two lovers reuniting were now gone. Everyone was now in business mode.

Clarke motions for Wells and Finn to sit back on their seats, knowing she would be too antsy to sit. 

The sudden reminder that this whole meeting was to discuss matters on Bellamy's girlfriend.

The thought made Clarke panic a little. It was easy for her to walk about thinking that Bellamy was hers, but to sit down with the man himself and have a whole meeting on who he belongs to.

The door to the room opens again, Abby comes back into the room, Jordan following in close behind her. Clarke could see the boy scan the room, obviously trying to see who had come back. She could see the disappointment in his eyes when he sees that his parents aren't there. 

Soon the room is becoming crowded as more people come into the room. Clarke could recognise some of them, Indra and Gaia, and Jackson. A lot were people Clarke didn't know but she guessed they were from Diyoza's crew.

Madi stands and the room turns silent.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**CHAPTER NINETEEN:**

Almost as soon as Madi begins to greet the room, Clarke feels a hand on the small of her back, making her jump in fright. 

"Hey, It's just me," a voice whispers in her ear, immediately calming Clarke down. It was Bellamy. 

She leans her weight against him slightly, hoping he believes the crowding of the room to be the cause. He doesn't question her so Clarke takes it as a win.

"We've heard from our people on the inside that our suspicions were correct," Madi announces. "A member of our crew has decided to take stand with the Primes." Clarke could feel Bellamy stiffen at that. "Echo has chosen to side with the enemy so she will be also be considered so." 

Clarke is surprised when a hand slides into her own. She knows straight away that it is Bellamy so she holds it back. She couldn't even consider how he feels right now. It hurts her to think of him in pain, but a selfish side of her can't help but think of this as good, maybe if he sees Echo as an enemy, it gives Clarke a chance. 

"However, we believe we now have the tool to end this fight before it begins." Madi continues, drawing Clarke's attention back to Madi. 

Several people in the room mumble in confusion at Madi's words, but quiet when she holds up her hand.

"All the primes want is to live, to live forever that is." Her statement is met with silence. "We can promise them that if they stop using people for their bodies, stop lying to and killing their people, they will die... but we now know what waits for them after death." 

It was as if a light bulb turned on above Clarke's head.

"The afterlife." She gasps out, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Finn and Wells staring at her. She knew they were looking at the way she stood with Bellamy, their hands connected, bodies resting against each other.

Madi nods her head. "We just have to convince them that it exists." 

Diyoza stands then. "I heard there are more of you?" She asks her question now directed at the three newcomers.

Wells gives Finn and Lincoln a look, they all seem to have a silent conversation before the three of them stand. Several gasps and mutters could be heard from the occupants of the room, even Bellamy lets out a small gasp.

"We came through the anomaly, along with several other people," Wells announces. "All of them willing to fight on your side." 

Finn clears his voice, "They should be here at any moment, we just...ran ahead," he sounded nervous. "People to see and all that." 

Madi drums her fingers on the table. "That could work," she mumbles to herself. 

"We could send a team of them to meet with the primes?" The suggestion comes from Indra. "They are our most powerful team, it's not like they could be hurt if anything goes wrong." 

Abby stands now, turning to address Indra over the crowd. "We don't know for sure that they can't be harmed... that's my daughter, I'm not just going to send her off on some dangerous mission because-" Abby's voice breaks. It hurt Clarke to hear the pain in her mother's voice.

"It's the best chance we've got, they're already dead," Indra argues back. "I know she is your daughter, but she is no longer a child, her choices are her own." 

Madi nods her head. "Yes, I agree with this plan. We will send word to the primes, request a meeting." Madi seemed to be talking more to herself than the rest of the room. "Once the rest arrive, we will set up a team, pick the best of their fighters- Griffin and Murphy, you will both lead the team." 

Clarke opens her mouth to respond but is stopped when Bellamy moves forward, almost blocking Clarke from view. "I'm going," he announces.

Diyoza groans. 

"Bellamy, you can't go. They know you are alive and will use you as bait for the rest of us, especially if they don't believe us about the afterlife." Madi argues but the words go right over Bellamy's head. 

"I don't care, they can torture and kill me all they like, but I am going on this mission." His hand was shaking against Clarke's now and she wasn't sure if it were anger or fear that was the cause.

She puts her hand on his arm. "Bellamy, we'll be okay." Clarke tries to soothe him. 

"I'm not letting you go alone." He whispers, his voice coming almost pleadingly.

Clarke tightens her grip on his hand. "I won't be alone, I'll have a whole team with me... it's not like I can die again, you have to let me go." She tries to smile, hoping the small joke would get him to stop looking so scared.

It seemed to have had the opposite effect.

His face crumples into something Clarke could only describe as someone who was truly broken. 

"Me letting you go is the reason you're dead." 

The room around them had turned deadly silent. 

The only thing Clarke could hear was her frantic breathing and the pleading energy that seemed to radiate from Bellamy's body.

"Bellamy-" Clarke whispers.

"No- please, Clarke... I have to go with you." He begs. "I can't let you go, not again, not ever." 

Clarke was aware that everyone was watching them, but she couldn't move her eyes from Bellamy's as she nods her head. "You won't, okay?" She puts her free hand on his cheek. "You can come with us, I'll need my partner in crime... head and heart, remember?" 

Clarke can see his shoulders sag in relief and she feels her heartbreak. She never knew her death would have such an effect on him. 

Bellamy wraps his arms around her suddenly, bringing his head to rest on top of hers for a moment, his eyes closing as if he were trying to calm himself down. Clarke holds him back, sensing that it's what he needed right now.

Over Bellamy's shoulder, Clarke could see Octavia watching them, a teary smile on her face. Clarke suddenly felt that she had truly been accepted by the girl to care for her brother.

Madi chooses that moment to speak up. "It might be better for Bellamy to go, the Primes know him, it will seem like less of an attack." 

"You couldn't send a team of us off without our leaders anyway, they've always worked better together." 

Clarke peeks over Bellamy to see who had spoken.

Raven.

"I'll also be going and I'll punch anyone who tries to stop me." Raven looked like she was trying her hardest to fight off tears. 

Shaw steps forward. "We need you here, Rave. You're the best mechanic we have so we can't risk your life." 

"She'll be protected with every step she takes," Finn replies in a heartbeat. "Not that she can't take care of herself." 

Clarke watches a tear fall down Raven's cheek. "Don't you know it, Collins." the girl replies before bringing one shaky hand up to wipe away the tears.

Diyoza nods taps at the table, bringing the attention back to her. "Okay, we will send a crew out to find your people, preferably someone familiar. While we do that, a messenger will be sent to deliver the meeting request to the primes." She summarises.

"As soon as your people arrive we will decide who will be going on the mission, as I doubt all of them will want to risk it." Madi finishes. "How many do you think will be up for it?" 

"I think we would be willing to bring about five of them along, plus the six of us, eleven seems like a reasonable amount of witnesses to convince these primes." Lincoln answers. "Admittedly, we have several members who came through to make sure their loved ones were protected."

"Like Jake would stay behind," Wells comments, mostly to himself, but it was enough to make Abby flinch. 

Madi presses on before Abby could say anything. "There reasons for coming through don't matter. All I care about is the numbers if this does turn into a fight." 

"We have more fighters on hand." Lincoln answers. "If anything goes wrong, one trip to the afterlife and you'll have an army. You'd be surprised how many people would still fight under ex-commander Lexa." 

Clarke breathes a sigh of relief. They could count on having some protection if this all goes wrong. It did make Clarke feel guilty about asking this from Lexa, but the warm weight of Bellamy in her arms made the guilt all disappear. 

She would do anything now, to make sure this man was safe. She would kill the primes a thousand times if it meant Bellamy got to lead a life. After everything he has been through, it's what he deserves.

Standing here with Bellamy now, both of them drawing comfort from each other, Clarke let go of any doubt of her feelings for this man. She didn't care if he still loved Echo, or if she has to wait another hundred years for him to return to her in the afterlife.

She loved him.

Head and Heart 


End file.
